Bite Your Tongue
by DarkHonda
Summary: Sometimes you have to think before you speak, while other times you have to speak before you think. Eventually, Kelsey ends up biting her tongue and gritting her teeth while Ryan doesn't understand and gets a little lost. PRLR. RyanKelsey. AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **All characters recognisable are not mine and belong Saban/Disney. I only own the circumstances.

**A/N:** PRLR. Ryan x Kelsey. AU.

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter One:**

The first night of Ryan as a new formal good guy was marked with a huge party at the common room; the six of them had a party, Joel brought the beer, Chad provided the food, Dana the non stopping chatter and Carter quoted every known rule the Aquabase held against exact such parties. Everyone was so into their usual 'role' in the party that Ryan was nearly forgotten. He was sitting alone on the sofa and held his Lightspeed Jacket, staring at it with a strange expression all over. So Kelsey felt obligated to abandon Chad in the kitchen and sit next to Ryan, dropping down to the couch like a rock.

"Hey," She gave him a bright smile, hoping it would ease him; he grimaced, it seemed she wasn't helping…

"Hi." He said after a moment, squirming away, but only a little.

"So how it feels like?" She asked and couldn't help sounding enthusiastic and kind of obsessed.

"This?" He held up the jacket, "It's great. Thanks." He said, a very small smile decorating his lips, barely showing any teeth.

"What's this?" She smiled deviously and he frowned, confused.

"What's what?" He boomeranged the question.

"That _thing_ on your lips, did you just _smile_?" She grinned fully now and Ryan bit his bottom lip in a weak attempt to suppress his twitching lips, but failed so now a quite larger smile decorated his lips. Kelsey laughed.

"I got you there!" She said between hopeless fits of laughter, he nodded once, his smile gone, but a new light in his amber eyes. When Kelsey's laughter finally died out, she gazed curiously at him, he was still looking at her and still holding the jacket with the very same strange expression on his face.

"Come on, Ryan, aren't bad guys allowed to laugh?" His eyes seemed to freeze when she said that and a part of her regretted mentioning it. It didn't matter to her, but it obviously still bothered him. 'Way to go, ruin the moment for him…' she beat herself mentally.

"Sorry." She said a moment later, looking at her hands, suddenly.

"I'm not a bad guy anymore." He told her gently, he didn't sound very mad or anything, just… slightly scolding, like a parent after you accidently let out a swear. She blushed, suddenly very self aware.

"I know," she felt the need to whisper that, gathering the courage to look into his eyed again; she found them fascinating as they were in the shade of her ranger uniforms. "I didn't mean that, I know you're not bad."

"You know?" He sounded surprised and she felt her blush heat again, she nodded. "Why would you think so? I could fool you all and take the task of a spy among you." He explained.

"Would you really betray your own sister?" She asked and he stiffened next to her.

"Family doesn't mean that much to me. I might've forgiven my father, but it would not change the fact they are strangers who share my blood." He said quickly and under his breath, but she understood everything, she could relate to that, too…  
Her grandmother all wrapped up with being rich and aristocrat, she was so cold and far from the world Kelsey, herself, lived in – that she was a stranger, too, despite being all of the family Kelsey has ever known.

"I can understand that." She held her breath after she has said it. She never shared with anyone the story of her family, not even her closest friends, Chad and Dana. She watched him closely: a flash of emotion showed for a moment in his eyes, then died out and he seemed in control again.

"So what it's like being a good guy?" Ryan now smiled at her, really smiled: his teeth flashed white in front of her eyes and she could recognize a small dimple in his right cheek. She grinned in response.

"Well, it's basically dealing with whatever the bad guys are throwing at us. Oh, and there's a lot of paperwork that's coming along with it. That's when you learn to envy the bad guys, they _don't_ have paperwork. I'm still way behind in mine, Carter and Dana, _of course_, get all of theirs in time, Joel just doesn't do his and I think I'm going to make a deal with Chad – he'll do one half and I'll do the other. It's too much work!" she complained, looking around for eavesdroppers, but no one really bother to do just that. Ryan was shaking with silent laughter and she grinned proudly – she made him laugh!

"What it's like being a bad guy?" She couldn't help her curiosity after he calmed down, he smiled and seemed to think about it for a full minute.

"It's a lot of scheming, but it's all very frustrating, for Diabolico, anyway. He's very disappointed with himself for not managing to wipe you out, yet." Ryan shrugged, "As far as I was concerned, you were nothing, I could take you and I did – "

"And then you discovered your true destiny, which is," She interrupted him enthusiastically, he frowned and stared at her, "Paperwork!" With that, he started to laugh again, this time not able to keep it quiet. She watched as his shaking, burst out to a deep fit of laughter.  
There were so many lines in his face, so many ways to get to know him, the real him. She knew she wanted to, would he give her a chance to do that? She really hoped he would. He seemed like an interesting man and he made her feel all fuzzy and giggly with his pondering ways…

*

That night he appeared on her doorstep, knocking softly on the door, as if trying and not-trying to wake her in the same time. She hadn't expected him to stand there and flushed crimson when she saw him, knowing he saw _her_ in embarrassing pajamas of teddy bears and yellow-ness. He said nothing for a long time and the two just stared at each other: she might have been wearing a yellow teddy-full pajamas but it was nothing as distracting as his long black training slacks.

He sighed a moment after she registered his half nakedness and closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I just… well, I had a nightmare and I… Carter snores and… – " She nodded, understanding he just needed someone to be there. She didn't say anything as she stepped out of the way and allowed him in her room, she closed the door behind him.

"Kelsey?" He asked, uncomfortably. "Can I sleep on the floor?"

"Yeah, just hold on for a moment, I'll get the extra covers." She said quickly, fatigue drifting away. She reached for her closet and pulled out thick covers and a mattress which made Ryan raise an eyebrow. She blushed, then shrugged.

"Dana and I have girls-night sometimes." She admitted while dropping the mattress on the floor and throwing the covers and one of her pillows that she dropped from her bed. Ryan nodded and Kelsey smiled and hopped into her own bed, slipping under the covers while Ryan did the same.

"Good night, Ryan, Sweet Dreams," She whispered and sank her face into her pillow.

"Night." he replied and turned to lay on his back; there was a moment of silence before –

"Kelsey?" His voice sounded beautiful behind that sleep haze.

"Yeah?"

"Can you hold my hand?" She let her hand drop down from the bed and noted when his quite large palm took hers. His palm felt kind of rough but very warm and soon enough – she was asleep.

*

When she woke in the morning, he wasn't there. Only a note was pace on her night stand:  
_Thank you._

* * *

**A/N:** I hope you would like this one, it's a bit different than my usual style, I think. Since everything is written, it's a chapter a day, so review and I shall be very happy!


	2. Chapter 2

**Bite Your Tongue**

By DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Two:**

The next day, there was an attack in uptown Mariner Bay, the entire Lightspeed Rescue crew got there via Rescue Rover while Ryan used his own motorcycle. She didn't get to fight much in that battle, nor the other rangers except for Ryan and maybe Carter. A little. With Ryan being the strongest ranger around, he was practically invincible to Diabolico as much as he has been invincible to the rangers in the past. She noticed how the change in sides already has done the Titanium Ranger some good: the ruthless and mean edges to his fighting styles were gone now. She appreciated that.

When the battle was over, and so easily, it seemed, they all stood together for a moment. The awkwardness of the moment shifted when everyone but Ryan demorphed.

"Great job, guys!" Dana beamed at Ryan and Carter, she was, most definitely, thrilled to the bone. Having her brother back and having him on their side as well – that was a huge hit point for her, Kelsey smiled at her friend gently.

"Yeah, that was fun to watch! Too bad I didn't have any popcorn!" Joel agreed and Chad nodded fiercely. Carter laughed and turned to Ryan, offering him his hand.

"Man, you've done all the work. Good job!" Carter complimented, Kelsey watched how Ryan tensed a little before relaxing and taking Carter's hand.

"Thanks, you were fighting good yourself." Ryan offered him a small smile, then his eyes darted to Kelsey, as if asking: is that alright? She gave an invisible nod and sighed. How did she become Ryan's personal counselor? She shrugged the thought off and stretched.

"Who's up for some mountain climbing in Silver Hill?" She offered and Joel, Chad glanced at her for a moment.

"Naaah!" they called together.

"I have a woman to seduce." Joel moved his eyebrows meaningfully, making Dana and Carter laugh.

"And I think I'm going to see Marina for a while, catch ya later, Kels!" The two of them were walking towards the Rescue Rover while Kelsey frowned and shrugged, then turned to the other three;

"Any of you want to join me?" She offered.

"Sorry, I have a meeting with Captain Mitchell in half an hour." Carter apologized courtly, Kelsey's eyes moved from him to Dana.

"I'll go." Ryan said from her right and Kelsey immediately looked at him. He gave her a small nod.

"Well, great! I have some studying to do." Dana chirped in, but Kelsey didn't throw her a glance, only smiled at Ryan. "Carter, shall we go?" Dana's voice woke her out of staring into deep chocolate brown eyes, the dark, warm liquid swirling in mystery.

"Sure. Goodbye, guys." Carter said, nodding at them and waiting for Dana to join him.

"Be careful, okay? Bye." Dana said happily before walking next to Carter; the pair walking another way, leaving Kelsey and Ryan alone and silent. They walked around for a while, Kelsey felt so embarrassed! What was she going to say to him? And rock climbing with him…? She would probably fall and break her neck out of nervousness, especially after him being so cute last night.

She sighed.

Yes, she knew he was a tough guy, she didn't have a shadow of a doubt in that; after all, he was on the evil side for far too long not to have acquired the basic necessities of an evil minion, but why she thinking about that? He was also very sweet and cute, not to mention sensitive: last night when he asked her to hold his hand and earlier, when he glanced at her for approval of his behavior to Carter. She peeked at him;

He was walking beside her, keeping a very small distance between them and looking straight forward, vigilantly.

He looked beautiful.

And she was beating herself up for having this thought coming up on her. Ryan was Dana's brother, she was Dana's best friend – it had to be awkward on some level, didn't it?

"Kelsey, are you feeling okay?" he stopped, causing her to stop a step later, she turned to face him, a little confused.

"Ryan?"

"You seem a little…strange, are you feeling well?" His voice had this soft edge she didn't hear when he was speaking to Carter, a few butterflies fluttered in her belly; not much – only three.

"Yes, I guess I'm a little distracted." She admitted with an embarrassed smile, blush decorating her cheeks.

"Is there something wrong? Can I help you?" He immediately offered and she shook her head.

"No, it's – it's just thoughts, I'm fine." She smiled at his worried expression; his eyes were brighter, somehow. "Tell me about you." She asked and then immediately regretted: it was too forward and invasive on her part to ask, especially after who knows what he went through in his childhood with Diabolico.

"What would you like to know?" He stared into her eyes.

"What was it like…over there?" She wasn't sure if it was the best thing to ask, but this curiosity came upon her and she really wanted to know all of a sudden.

"It's definitely not like here." He gave a small smile. "There isn't any sun and sometimes it can be very cold. Diabolico and Loki treated me like family, I suppose they were my parents in a way: they raised me until I was twelve. When I turned twelve, I was sent away to train until I turned nineteen and then Diabolico ordered me to come back and train with him."

"Didn't you feel like there was something missing? I can't imagine Diabolico, or Loki, being very fatherly to you." Kelsey spoke gently.

"They weren't, but that was the only thing I knew. There were a lot of things that I didn't have but looking back, I know that from all things I've missed, there is only one thing that is really important." He said almost gravely, stopping in his place and looking down at her seriously again.

"What's that?" she couldn't help her curiosity.

"Love." He ran his hands in his dirty blond hair.

"It was probably very hard." She mumbled, blush tinting her cheeks again. She felt embarrassed and stupid; why did she have to push him? She looked away from him, not wanting to meet his eye.

"You have it now." She let it slip and wanted the earth to open and swallow her whole! How mortifying!

"Yes, I do." He smiled. "Dana and Captain Mitchell, well, Dad." He added and Kelsey nodded absently, not daring to say another word in the matter.

Silence.

It helped easing the tension she felt building inside of her.

"Do you have any more questions?" He suddenly asked.

"No." She replied fast, maybe too fast. Then thought about it; "Well, um, do you still want to go Rock Climbing?" she pried gently.

"I don't mind, I like it, but I also like walking here." He shrugged non-committedly and Kelsey gulped and nodded. "I used to rock climb in Angel Grove." He added and Kelsey frowned, Angel Grove? Where has she heard of it? Her confusion was probably visible because a moment later Ryan gave a small smile.

"It's just ahead of Stone Canyon, where I also like to climb." His small smile turned into a full blown out one. "Maybe I can take you…? Some time?" He suggested and Kelsey grinned, blushing.

"Sure, name the day!" She couldn't help but being overly excited about it: finally someone who appreciated the fine art of rock climbing! Another voice in her screamed with a completely _other_ delight of him wanting to spend some more time with her. Four other butterflies now fluttered away in her belly and she took a deep breath, still grinning;

*

That night after a long shower and some spur-of-the-moment girl pampering in the form of rubbing vanilla scented lotion to her skin, Kelsey decided to do some reading; she read a thriller that kept her a little jumpy and most assuredly fascinated with the book, so much that she refused to let the book down. Reading the last chapter of the book made her even more nervous and when a knock on the door was heard she yelped and threw the book in the air, before catching it and taking a deep breath.

"It's only the door." She told herself as she pulled herself out. "It's only the door."

She unlocked the door and opened it to reveal a furrow-browed Ryan.

"Are you alright? I thought I heard you screaming?"

She was as red as Carter's ranger suit.

"Yeah, I'm, uh, reading this scary book and you knocked and I freaked a little." She admitted sheepishly, he chuckled! He actually chuckled! She grinned at him, now happy with her little yelp – it made him laugh again.

"So, you knocked…?" She raised her eyebrows questioningly and this time he blushed a little, seeming uncomfortable.

"Can I…sleep on the floor tonight?" He asked in a low voice. "Last night it helped." He half whispered now, Kelsey nodded and opened the door.

"Sure, help yourself while I finish the chapter? I only got four more pages." She suggested and he nodded and entered, she closed the door behind him and jumped on her bed, opened the book and resumed reading.

After reading the last two lines she couldn't help but yelp again.

Then she remembered Ryan was in the room.

And again came Carter's suit color to her cheeks.

"Sorry, scary book." she mumbled to Ryan while she threw the book away; Ryan glanced up at her from the now padded floor, clearly amused.

"It's just a book, Kelsey…" He said in a low, taunting voice.

"Still scary!" she insisted and slid under her covers, holding her hand out to Ryan. "Hold my hand tonight?" She asked and he smiled.

"Okay." He agreed and the almost forgotten sensation of his rougher skin wrapping her hand… it made her stomach churn in an unusual way. When she peeked down at Ryan, she caught him staring at her hand and sank her face in her pillow. That was… embarrassing? Awkward? Well, it sure felt good seeing him staring at her hand, that one is for sure. It made her feel all of those tingles.

"Good night, Kelsey." He said almost huskily.

"Sweet dreams, Ry." She mumbled, already half asleep.

*

The next morning she woke up, not surprised to see her room was empty once again and a note was waiting on her nightstand:  
_Thank you. Don't be scared about the book – I won't let anything hurt you._

She squealed and ran into the bathroom for a shower and a brush of teeth.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, down goes another one. Review!


	3. Chapter 3

**Bite Your Tongue  
**By DarkHona aka Tal

**Chapter Three:**

It seemed to her that things couldn't get better, Ryan defeated solely almost every demon Diabolico has thrown their way, sometimes he needed a little help from Carter, but nothing too serious. That left her and the others a lot of free time, which was easy to give yourself to; she could finally return to doing all of those extreme activities she used to do before Lightspeed: skating, scuba diving, sky diving and rock climbing were only the start of her to do list.

It has been only two weeks since Ryan joined them and things were definitely looking up to Kelsey as well as the entire Lightspeed Rescue team; it was easier to defeat Diabolico's minions now, a lot easier, actually. So easy that she, Kelsey Winslow, could join Chad in scuba diving! That was just too exciting to pass and when she finally had the opportunity she set a sort of scuba date with Chad, well, not a real date – just hanging out together, like they used to. Rangering wasn't hanging out by anyone's standards.

"I say Ryan takes him alone." Joel shot at Chad during a fight where Ryan fought and the others had popcorn while hanging around in suits. Okay, so they weren't really having popcorn, but they weren't doing anything meaningful: it was like the entire team – but Ryan – was there for backup, since he was doing all the work.

"No, man, look at the size of that thing! I say he needs Carter." Chad replied, stretching his arms lightly.

"Five bucks?"

"Ten."

"Done. Sweet!" Joel swung his arms in the air. "Go, Ryan!!" He called out.

"You two are such dorks." Kelsey could imagine Dana rolling her eyes behind her helmet and smiled.

"Whatever, Pinky." Joel called and jumped. "Get him, Ryan!"

"I really think we should help him." Carter said and Chad shrugged.

"He doesn't look like he needs it."

Kelsey sighed; she had to admit Chad was right: Ryan didn't really need them to help him – he was strong enough, what was the point in hanging around wearing ridiculous spandex suits? They weren't even helping. She watched as Ryan jumped in the air, his Titanium Axe slashing the monster into bits and pieces.

Another battle was won thanks to the Titanium Ranger, she noted dryly.

With her shoulders slumped, she demorphed and glanced at her teammates who have just done the same. She couldn't help but glancing at Ryan who looked tired but exhilarated and happy, as he should've been, of course. His eyes radiated with a sense of pride and success, but she couldn't bring herself to smile at him. She liked him, a lot, but without noticing he was breaking down their team: in a two week's course, he managed to take the Lightspeed team out of the picture and basically, shut it down.

She hated that he as done that. Of course, it wasn't his fault but…

She sighed, exhausted from the circle form of her thoughts, going over and over the very same things.

"Chad, I'll meet you at the reef at noon." She stretched lightly and began walking away, deep in thought;

"Kelsey!" A hand gently grabbed her own hand and she looked up to see Ryan. "Hey." He smiled, not letting go of her hand.

"Hey, Ry." She smiled almost sadly at him. "You were really good today." It was true.

"Really? You think so?" He asked as a huge grin appeared of his face, she nodded, feeling a little hypocritical.

"Thanks." He said, calmer somewhat, "Hey, Kelsey, do you want to come rock climbing with me tomorrow? I'm heading for Stone Canyon." He explained shortly, staring at her.

"Yeah, sure!" She grinned, looking into his eyes and seeing the faint pink of his cheeks. Momentarily the uncomfortable feeling swept away and she was filled with excitement and delight.

"Great, well, I guess I have to go now, Dana and I are supposed to have lunch with Dad." He looked apologized and she nodded, that uncomfortable shadow creeping into her stomach again. He gave her another huge smile that made her feel more of a hypocrite, before he turned around and ran back to Dana.

Kelsey sighed.

He was tearing the team apart and it bothered her.

And she liked him.

He didn't know that. She couldn't possibly talk to him about it… right? After all, she liked him and didn't want to hurt him.

"Ugh!" her palms balled into tight fists. Why did everything have to be so awkward and excruciatingly difficult with him? Well, it wasn't like it was bad-difficult, more like exciting-difficult, too-many-butterflies-in-belly-difficult. Maybe she does have to talk to him about the team; as an observer it seemed like he was missing the whole point of being in a team! An outcome of being a lone wolf all of these years, perhaps?

She shrugged at herself and jogged all the way back to the Aquabase.

*

She spent some fun time with Chad in the water, and even Marina ventured and came to hang out with them underwater, not that it was some sort of surprise since the heat between those two was felt even underwater. Despite that, Kelsey didn't feel like a third wheel, Chad and Marina were really relaxed near her, especially Chad. He looked at her strangely somehow and she could detect it somehow, but ignored it – a part of her couldn't stop bringing Ryan into her mind.

And when Chad and her were out of the water, Chad had this really funny expression all over.

"What?"

"What's wrong? You've been creepy the entire time." Chad raised his eyebrows, clearly concerned.

"Nothing's wrong, it's just…" she sighed.

"Come on, Kels, you know you can trust me." Chad reassured quickly and handed her a large yellow towel. Kelsey looked away from Chad's worried expression and sighed yet again, she really needed to talk this out and Chad was a wise person, he could help her decide what to do.

"Well, it's Ryan." She muttered.

"Ryan?" Chad confirmed and Kelsey nodded, sulking a bit. "What about him?" Chad also recovered very quickly.

"I… well… you probably noticed the, um, battles?" she hinted.

"Oh, him fighting all by himself?" Chad confirmed yet again.

Kelsey nodded.

"He's very strong and he clearly likes it." Chad pointed out.

"I know, I know. He's amazing like that, really, but did you notice there isn't really 'us' anymore? There's only Ryan. It's like our team fell apart, he's doing all the work." She said sadly, she didn't like admitting it out loud; didn't it make her sound like an attention seeker?

"I guess you're right." Chad mumbled.

"It's just… we used to have a purpose, you know?" Her voice was suddenly a little higher, like she was going to cry. She swallowed hard.

"We still do, Kels." Chad said softly and quickly held her comfortingly. "It's just a little different." He added after some thought.

"But I don't feel the same, I feel so useless. You know how I hate it, sitting around, doing nothing – doesn't it bother you?" Teary eyes met Chad's dark chocolate ones.

"I don't mind it, I finally can spend a little more time here and I like it. I've missed it." He admitted with a smile. Chad caressed her wet hair for a moment.

"You should talk to him, you know. It bothers you, I can tell."

Kelsey nodded and the two left for the Aquabase.

*

Later that night, she was staring anxiously at the banana shaped clock that hung on the wall in front of her; she was sitting on her bed listening to some music in her headphones and singing along every now and then, but had a hard time keeping her eyes from the clock. She waited for eleven o'clock, the time the first knock was always heard.

But there was nothing.

She took off her headphones, waiting impatiently to his knock, but it never came. At first she thought he was late, maybe he had something to do or someplace to be; then she grew a little worried: what could've kept him from coming? Eventually she fell asleep, exhausted from that day's diving, a tear sliding on her cheek.

* * *

**A/N:** Ah… drama, drama, drama! :) Review!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Four:**

Kelsey woke up the next days with swollen eyes and a red nose, not to mention tearstains all over her cheeks. She gave her alarm clock a push that wasn't strong enough to make it stop ringing until she sat down and pressed on it forcefully, then glanced around; there was no whatsoever sign of him being there and it saddened her to the point of biting her lip, nervous: has she done something wrong? Unmotivated at all, she walked to her bathroom to wash up and maybe even drown herself in something that wasn't pity.

Why him not coming had to hurt so much?

She felt like she has done something wrong, but in reality, she didn't and this wretched feeling refused to let go of her insides. Something is terribly wrong. When she finally pulled herself out of the shower and dressed, this time in an uncharacteristic tight jeans and a gray tee shirt; then she looked at herself in the mirror and shook her head, why was she wearing _his_ color?

She threw a large yellow hoodie and put on the hood, to cover the untamed curls that she didn't bother to brush and fix into a decent, army-like hairstyle. Then, she found a pair of thick yellow socks and worn them as well, before giving herself another slight glance in the mirror. She sighed heavily and stepped out of her room, walking to their common room for breakfast that Chad was probably already cooking.

She wasn't very hungry all of a sudden.

A newspaper was hiding Carter's face when she entered the room; she surveyed the room only to see it was down to Chad, Carter, Joel and herself, then shrugged and crashed on the sofa. _That_ made Carter glance at her slightly irritated, which was then followed by a deep frown. She could almost see the wheels in his head turning, until he resolved himself, gave her a short nod and returned to the newspaper wordlessly.

"Kel-sey!" Joel was jumpy as always and landed himself on her legs.

She groaned.

"Come on, Joel, get off, you're heavy!"

"Oooh, someone's grumpy this morning." He snickered. "Had a bad dream?" he mock-pouted and Kelsey scrunched her nose at him and slapped his side.

"Ape." She accused.

"Banana." He shot.

"Well, at least _I_ have energy!"

"At least I _eat_ bananas for breakfast, lunch and dinner!" Jowl sing-sang and Kelsey smiled a little. Joel was so stupidly childish sometimes, that he knew exactly how to cheer her up. It was charming in a not very attractive manner, if that made sense. Probably not. And then Dana walked into the room with Ryan holding her hand.

And she was trying to hide the fact she was still crying, for some reason.

Ryan even stopped and put both his hands on her shoulders, looking into her eyes for a moment, whispering something. Dana nodded and looked like she was trying to calm down, breathing deeply and turning away from Ryan.

"Hi, guys." Dana sniffed and Kelsey couldn't help but notice that Dana looked at bad as she felt.

"What happened?" Carter shot out immediately, concerned.

"Well, it's not really my place to say." Dana shrugged, then looked expectantly at Ryan. "Ryan?" she asked and Ryan glanced around, his eyes skimming through Kelsey, as if she was air.

"I've spoken with my dad, I'm going to try and hunt down Queen Bansheera." He said coolly, Kelsey gaped; he had to be joking, leaving them? Now?! What good would it do?

"Why?" Joel shot up immediately.

"Someone has to."

"What do you mean?" Chad frowned, Carter caught his eye and nodded his approval of the question.

"Look, I can fight off any monster Diabolico is throwing at me, but it's your job to do it. It will be for the better if I could find a way to capture Queen Bansheera, this way everything would be over. Don't you want that? Going back to your lives?" Ryan asked.

"I like being a Power Ranger," Joel said, flinging his hands in the air, "but I see your point. Good luck." He said and offered his hand for a handshake and Ryan took it, smiling a little.

"I second that." Chad came to shake Ryan's hand as well.

"Me too, but be careful, Bansheera is stronger than Diabolico." Carter took Ryan's hand, too.

"I will." Ryan nodded.

Everyone looked at Kelsey expectantly, but she almost tried to hide in her hood, not wanting to be seen; it shook her, the lightness of his leaving all of them, was that the reason he didn't come last night, because he was leaving them? And when will he find Bansheera anyway? It could take months, years! Will it be years before she could see him again?

"Kels?" Joel moved his hand in front of her eyes and Kelsey woke up from her reverie.

"What? Oh!" She blushed, then jumped to her feet, her hood's falling off and revealing her light brown curls.

"Erm, good luck, Ry." She told the entire room, actually avoiding looking at Ryan completely. Then she shook her head and stalked off of the common room, leaving her team behind. In quick steps she reached her room and entered, locking the door behind her and falling on her bed, burying her face in her pillow.

Why was he so keen on leaving? She couldn't grasp that.

A knock on her door. She got up and unlocked the door only to reveal him, she immediately looked aside, unable to meet his eyes.

"What do you want?" She snapped.

"What was it back there? Do you hate me or anything? Have I done something wrong?" she still refused to meet his face, but didn't answer.

"I see." He said sharply and turned to leave.

"No, I don't hate you." She was staring at her feet while admitting, and she gulped. "I just don't want you to go." She sighed, tired with herself.

"Don't you?" His voice was closer and almost a whisper.

She shook her head.

"You should. I'm ruining your _team_, aren't I?" He said sternly and left abruptly, leaving Kelsey wide eyed and gaping. Only seconds later she managed to shut the door and stumble to bed, crying herself to sleep.

* * *

**A/N:** I suppose things are a bit unclear at the moment. I'll explain why: this story is mostly Kelsey POV, so if she doesn't know something – you don't either. Things would be clearer later when the plot will progress, don't worry. Secondly, I wanted to add Happy Holidays:) **R**eview!


	5. Chapter 5

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Five:**

She hadn't a clue how the hell did Ryan find out about her little 'issue'; did he speak to Chad? Could he read her mind? The way he acted, so cold, mocking even, was so different from the way he was usually around her, kind and warm; she had really thought they had a connection on some level, she had feelings for him! And the way he left… he didn't even let her explain, just threw his words at her and walked away. Did he even care about what she had to say? Then, there was the subject of his leave: did he really want to search after Bansheera or was he actually trying to so-called clear the way for her?

Why did everything have to be so complicated?

She shook her head and pushed herself out of bed; there was no use in dwelling in the matter – it was draining her mentally. She felt guilty, agitated and plain sad. Ryan really meant something to her, he wasn't just the guy who switched sides and fought their battles. For her, he was the one to appear outside of her door late at night, ever since the day he turned his back to Diabolico. She didn't know why he had chosen her in the first place, in that very same first night he knocked on her door, but somehow, it just felt right.

She remembered every night he came to her room, holding her hand and always leaving her a thank you note. She actually kept them all in her nightstand! Trying to preserve something good? Talking about pathetic.

She couldn't help herself and that was the bitter truth: she loved him. He hated her. Otherwise why should he remove himself from the team? From being close to her? He didn't _want_ to spend any more nights on the carpet near her bed. He didn't want the comfort she offered him.

And that hurt.

He didn't give her a chance to explain, like she didn't deserve it – did he think so bad of her? Probably if he couldn't even stand in front of her one minute so she could tell him.  
Maybe it was her fault that he left, but she couldn't be responsible for his lack of patience to her. She offered him comfort and a place to stay every night for two weeks! And he couldn't give her the time of day to explain?

That made her furious.

Who did he think he is? Not only that he came to a well formed group, with a purpose, a specific direction, and wrecked it down to bits and pieces, not only he came to her room every night and completely hypnotized her – he didn't even care enough to listen! To simply listen.

How could she love him?

*

It was definitely good to be back on active ranger duty. It provided a huge distraction, that she most craved and needed, from Ryan and his abandonment. Yes, abandonment: after weeks of letting Ryan handle _their_ job, all five rangers were a little rusty and it had taken a lot of effort and discipline to re-acquire the skills and shape that were lost.

It was good in the way that Kelsey loved working out intensively whether for monster-fighting purposes or not. It was also great to be able to stop thinking, to concentrate on feeling and doing, sort of reconnecting to your true self, like rock climbing. Not that she had time for it now, mind you. But it wasn't everything anymore; if before Ryan showed up in their lives, Kelsey could breathe, eat and live training and fighting and giving all her might, now it was harder; it wasn't easy to focus nor it was easy to give herself in to instincts, it was a part of her that kept bringing _him_ back, a part that kept asking _Why?_

And she couldn't answer that.

It wasn't long before her friends noticed it, too; she wasn't with them, not really, and after a while they started asking questions. First, it was Dana – maybe it was a female thing, some kind of high sensitivity for moods, Kelsey wasn't sure; one night there was a knock on her door, it was kind of late which made her heart beat a little faster, anticipating, what are the odds that it would be Ryan? Well, probably zero, because it wasn't.

It was Dana.

And she came in with two steaming mugs of hot chocolate and a chick flick DVD, demanding a Girls Night and making Kelsey agree reluctantly to her demand. There wasn't much Kelsey could do to resist Dana, she had to admit it, and she didn't want to see her friend even more sad with a rejection to their used-to-be favourite girly past time. It's just… her heart wasn't into it.

It was her fault that Dana carried an extra-weight of sorrow, and Kelsey wanted to make up for it, so the two girls watched the chick flick into the night using this sophisticated device Dana borrowed from Miss Fairweather. All of their previous Girls' Nights were in the same form: hot chocolate, chick flick, the occasional popcorn and a talking into the night, but this time Kelsey couldn't help feeling a little uncomfortable and somewhat stuck; it just wasn't the same anymore.

She had to admit: nothing felt like it used to be. Not even Girls' Night.

After the flick was over, Dana squealing at the random couple's happy ending, Kelsey waited for it to hit on her. Some kind of a question, affirmation, confrontation… anything that would show Dana has noticed her peculiar behavior. Of course, Kelsey knew she was being strange but she couldn't help it and there was nothing anyone could do for her. When Dana's question came, she only sighed;

"Kelsey," Dana called gently from beside her bed, Kelsey looked down tiredly. "What's the matter?"

Kelsey bit her bottom lip for a moment, thinking. She honestly didn't know what or how to answer, could she tell Dana that she, Kelsey Winslow, loved her formerly-evil brother and in the same time drove him away?

And it wasn't only that. It was also the fact that Kelsey drove Ryan away not only from herself, but in from his own family and friends, too. From his destiny as a ranger, even! She felt ashamed at that, she felt miserable for being the cause of his departure, for being the cause that resulted in pain for her friend.

So she was just quiet and Dana let it go, maybe because she could see how hard it was for her to acknowledge aloud what was so wrong.

Then, there was Chad.

Kelsey and Chad, well, they communicated in a whole different level: they were good friends, heck, best friends for as long as they both been at Lightspeed. Both knew they could talk with the other on anything and everything without being judged – for the good and for the bad, so in a way being with Chad was somewhat easing on all of those heavy feelings Kelsey felt she was lifting. On one rare off-base afternoon, Chad suggested that they would go rollerblading and Kelsey agreed. She missed that kind of freedom.

Later on that afternoon, while she sat on a bench and waited for Chad to carefully slide his way toward her, she realized what was the real and hidden purpose of this afternoon; after all, Chad was really bad at rollerblading and each time they were rollerblading he was branded with more than just physical scars, but mental scars as well. Kelsey realized that Chad did this so that he could be closer to her, to try and talk to her about what's bothering her. While she watched him struggling to skate to the bench she knew just how much she appreciated his effort and how much she cherished their friendship, but she also knew that it isn't helping because no one could understand the bitter guilt, deep sadness and searing anger that swirled in her stomach.

No one.

* * *

A/N: So, I'm posting this instead of working on my essay... **R**eview?


	6. Chapter 6

**Bite Your Tongue****  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Six:**

A concentrated shot of acid hit Dana's chest, slowly consuming her pink ranger suit in front of everyone's eyes, leaving her with her clothes and dark bruises on every exposed patch of skin, mainly her neck and face, as well as her arms.

"Dana, no!!" Carter roared while making a move to attack. Kelsey jumped forward, grabbing Carter along with Chad, while Joel made his way to Dana.

"No, Carter! This is _not_ the way we deal with this!" Kelsey yelled at him, her hold on his shoulder and arm tightening. It won't be good for him to attack the monster now, when they didn't know how to deal with Dana's injuries – they couldn't risk another injured teammate.

"Your downfall is near!" The monster laughed viciously and disappeared, Kelsey could bet it wouldn't be the last they'll be hearing about that demon. Joel carried Dana to the Rescue Rover and Chad and Kelsey now could only guide Carter back to the Rover themselves. Kelsey took the driver's seat while Carter and Joel sat at the back, with Dana, and Chad sat next to Kelsey.

Kelsey raced the car down the roads toward the beach and the hidden entrance to the Aquabase. She liked driving fast, the wind playing in her hair, the thrill running in her veins, if it wasn't for the circumstances... She stopped the Rover in the middle of the parking lot in a screech of tiers, then jumped down, opening the Rover's door to Carter who was carrying Dana in his arms. Once his feet hit the ground Carter ran for the infirmary and Kelsey looked, empty, at her friends.

What now?

Slumping, the three made their ways to Captain Mitchell's office, to report on the battle. They say the pink ranger is the heart of the team and with Dana being injured – there was no hope left. In anyone.

She knocked once in Captain Mitchell's door and opened it – the situation was much too grave to wait – the three of them entered the room only to see Captain Mitchell was busy laughing with two other people that were sitting with him. He immediately stopped laughing when he saw them, wearing a somewhat harsh expression.

"Yes?" He asked, frowning a little.

"Dana is hurt, the monster poured this gooey acid all over her. Carter took her to the infirmary." Joel reported and Captain Mitchell got up from his chair immediately, his eyes wide with worry. The two people sitting in front of him turned around and Kelsey gulped, trying to swallow her surprise; Ryan and an unknown woman looked worried, Ryan especially, he jumped on his feet and followed his father as they made their way, right past the rangers, to the infirmary.

The stranger-woman got up a moment later and walked quickly behind them; she had a long straight black hair that reached her mid-back and long and thin figure, not very muscled. She was wearing a tight black tee and a khaki skirt that reached just above her knees, to her feet a pair of sandals. Her scent swirled behind her as she went out of the door, making Joel whistle.

"Oooh, she's _fine_!"

Kelsey rolled her eyes.

"I know! Looking good, eh?" Chad elbowed Joel with a chuckle, Kelsey rubbed her temples tiredly.

"Shall we check on Dana?" She snapped and started to make her way to the infirmary, the two men dragging along behind her, worried about their pinky friend again.

They walked through several corridors until they've reached the infirmary's door. Apparently the doctors and Miss Fairweather were still treating Dana; everything was visible through the glass window to the room. Carter was standing so close to the glass that his face were nearly squashed to it, Captain Mitchell was sitting, worried, on a chair not to far from Carter and Ryan was pacing in front of him. That, until the stranger-woman who was sitting near Captain Mitchell took his hand in hers and gave him a little pull. He sat next to her, his face a mixture of pain, anger and hatred.

"Ry, calm down." The woman purred at him and he leaned his head on her shoulder, pain struck.

Nauseate rose inside of Kelsey at the sight of Ryan in the arms of another woman, well not quite as literally, not to mention the use of the nickname she gave him in their long nights of dream-filled sleep. She turned to look around, unable to bear watching the pair, when her eyes caught Carter who was staring into the treatment room, his eyes wide. She doubted he actually saw anything. She put her hand on his shoulder.

"She's going to be fine, Carter." She told him, hoping it sounded like she believed in it.

Carter shook his head.

"I should've gone after the monster." He said in a queasy voice.

"No, you shouldn't have, because then you would have been laying there next to her. Do you think that's what she wants?" Kelsey asked and Carter diverted his eyes from the glass to look down at her.

"You're right." He gave a half smile.

"Come on, let's get some coffee for everyone, they'll watch over her for a while, okay?" She asked and Carter gulped and nodded. Kelsey cast a glance to Chad who nodded and motioned to stand where Carter has been, as if filling for him while he's gone. Carter gave him a nod and followed Kelsey, only a moment later, when they passed Ryan and his _woman_, who stopped them.

"Ry, who are your friends?" The dark haired women asked in a sickeningly-sweet voice, making Ryan raise his head and look at the pair of rangers. His eyes found Kelsey's in a moment, conveying something she couldn't recognize before he stood up.

"Carter Grayson, Kelsey Winslow, I'd like you to meet Illyria Cole, my girlfriend." He made the introduction somewhat tiredly, Kelsey noted, but maybe it was his worry for Dana that made him sound that way.

"Pleasure to meet you, ma'am." Carter nodded and Illyria sent him a large smile.

"Hi, Carter, you can call me Lyri." She said sweetly and Carter nodded once more. Then Illyria turned to Kelsey, her eyes narrowing somewhat.

"Hi, I'm Kelsey, nice to meet you." Kelsey said with a small smile, offering her hand for a handshake but Illyria didn't take it, only half-sneered at her.

"Hello, Kelsey Winslow." She said coolly and turned to Ryan again; "Ry, I'm cold." She complained, Kelsey sighed and turned to Carter.

"Shall we?" She smiled at him, but he wasn't looking at her. He was looking at Illyria for a long moment, as if forgetting what was happening. As if forgetting Dana.

"Carter?" Kelsey asked.

When he didn't reply again, she elbowed him and he jumped.

"Oh, right." He said all of a sudden and followed Kelsey.

*

Later onto that night, Kelsey forced Chad, Joel and Carter into hourly shift, in order to watch Dana. She knew that Carter would like to be there al the time, whereas Joel or Chad would find it a little pointless to stay hours in front of a glass window; there was a need to balance: Carter couldn't stand there twenty four seven, especially when the monster was still on the loose and besides, Dana was everyone's friend and they all worried for her, it only made sense that they all would share watching and taking care of her.

Knowing Captain Mitchell would be near Dana's bed in the day time, Kelsey wrote their shift schedules from noon to morning; the first watching will be Joel's, he was one that needed his night's sleep more than anyone, especially if he was flying the next day. Chad took the evenings until later night, he also use the quietness of Dana's surrounding as a place where he can read peacefully and even more, sometimes he'd read Dana one of her own books, just in case she can hear him. Then Carter resumed position from Midnight to three o'clock, maybe the hardest time of day. He'd sit there, staring at Dana through a glass window or holding her hand while he sat near her bed, hoping. And lastly, from three o'clock to seven thirty, it was her own shift, usually waiting until Captain Mitchell or Ryan came to replace her.

It didn't matter to her that waking up in two o'clock in the morning was her wake up call for the day; she knew Dana would have done the same if she had been in her place, and she wanted to believe her friends would do the same for her, too. They were family, always.

But there was more to it. A lot more.

She couldn't face Ryan or Illyria. At least at her time of watching over Dana they weren't hovering over her as well. Seeing Ryan again – with Illyria – devastated her: it wasn't just the façade she had to keep up, of indifference and near-false friendship. It was also the fact that Illyria didn't like her, bordering on hated her.

At first she thought Ryan had told her about, well, what made him leave, but he didn't; while time progressed, he never mentioned their last conversation before he left the Aquabase, not once, and it actually seemed like he had forgotten all about it. So why was Illyria so mean to her? Always narrowing her eyes in some kind of a non-verbal threat, always sneering at her, mocking her clothes on occasion and it wasn't all verbal, a stare or a lift of eyebrow was enough to make Kelsey retire to her room.

Since Ryan and Illyria returned to the Aquabase, Kelsey spent more time in her room than outside which was strange for Kelsey – she never kept indoors. Everything just weighed down on her: Ryan with all the guilt, sadness, anger and frustration; Illyria with all her mocking, vile ways; and lastly, Dana, her best friend, her shoulder to lean on… who was laying unconscious in the infirmary.

It was hard to keep everything inside, it was hard to keep the façade, now more than ever, of being okay when all she wanted to do was curl into a ball and cry everything out. The guys, well, Chad and Joel, were so bewitched by Illyria's presence and Carter who was always thinking about Dana… no one ever noticed her falling. She wanted to scream and in the same time be still and cool.

It was impossible.

*

A month passed by and Dana still hasn't woken yet. The monster that hurt her was long gone, destroyed by the hand of a vengeful Ryan, who was now doing ranger duty along with everyone but Dana on the Lightspeed team. Surprisingly, he was cooperating with the group, the lone wolf syndrome dissolving and group thinking sinking into him. His fighting style sort of adjusted so it could include other teammates helping him or being helped by him, which was more frequent.

Fighting, with him around, made Kelsey a little weaker to him; he was so strong and very protective of the team, always jumping to help whoever needed it, especially Kelsey. Her own fighting style was weakening, not in skill, but in strength. She wasn't as strong as always, maybe it was the lack of exercise or how little she saw the sun, but it was undeniable. Some thing inside of her was off and she knew it. But what could she have done? Unfortunately, it was just the beginning, because it only added up to her list of faults and it was already too heavy to carry. And above all –

It was about that time that the nightmares began.

* * *

**A/N:** Double posting, yay! Ha, I'm just unsure in my availability to post tomorrow, so I figured: why not? And besides, I have about fourteen more chapters to spare. For the record, see how fast Ryan came back to the picture? It was about a month or two in fic time. See, I wasn't going to torture Kelsey for long, like _that_, anyway. *smirk*


	7. Chapter 7

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Seven:**

She walking in a dark tunnel towards the far away light she could see in the end; droplets of water landed on the murky ground and gave a certain rhythm to her walk. She felt cold and for some reason, very tense, as if something was about to jump on her from behind.

She quickened her steps.

Small hisses came from behind her, urging her faster and faster into the light, until she broke in a frightened run. For some reason her instinct to fight disappeared and she felt scared; the light, she knew, would be her save, because as little as it was – a little of the light could always banish a lot from the darkness.

She was breathing hard when she finally was about to step into the light, somewhat more relaxed and sure of herself. Yet once the pale rays of light touched her skin, she felt involuntary trembles going up and down her body and the fake safety the light had given her faded; her eyes scanned her surrounding worriedly, anxiously.

And then, it moved.

Something sandy was coming her way – no, slithering – hissing, Kelsey turned back, intending to flee but there was no time. Elastic and cold skin has quickly wrapped around her, covering her with spirals up to her neck. The chill from the elastic _thing_ was unbearable and then it started to put pressure on the hold it had on her, suffocating her, crushing her…

_The only thing she had left to do was screaming for help._

"ARRRGHHH!!!!!!!" Kelsey's eyes opened widely and she discovered she was still on her bed; she was panting and covered in cold sweat, shivering slightly.

"It was just a dream." She told herself aloud, trying to reassure herself.

"Just a dream." She repeated and breathed in deep, trying to calm down. A glance to her clock showed her it was one o'clock and she scrambled on her feet, walking to the shower for a quick wash and a brush of teeth. There was no use in going to sleep when she had to wake up in an hour anyway.

*

She stayed with Carter two hours until her own shift began, this time, she was sitting next to Dana who was showing slight improvement. She took her hand fondly and sighed.

"I really miss you, Dana." She said softly.

She really did miss her, even if lately they weren't really talking. Sometimes just being able to sit together, in silence, helped a lot; knowing there was someone there, with you, who cared and acted on it.

"Ryan came back, you know, I bet he's the first thing you're going to talk about once you wake up." She smiled. "I haven't been around him a lot, but he's changed, I think you're going to like the new Ryan." Kelsey nodded matter-of-fact-ly.

"He's a team player, remember how he was all big and mighty titanium ranger at first? Now he's cool." Kelsey shrugged, admitting it was harder than it would seem, but there was no use in denying the truth.

"He has a girlfriend now, you know." Kelsey noted apathically. "She's… well, her name is Illyria but everyone calls her Lyri. She has this jet black hair, really smooth and straight, and the pair of the most amazing coal-black eyes. Very_ mysterious_."

She didn't say anything after that, only stayed silent.

It felt definitely better to say this to someone, finally admitting she wasn't all gooey eyed for Illyria as the rest of them were. Falling for fake graces and politeness. Kelsey shrugged and sighed.

Later on, when morning twilight bloomed and the sun sent comforting blue rays into the waves that made the ocean look like a blue diamond, Kelsey couldn't help but surrender to her urge to sleep.

She was in that tunnel again, this time, instead of walking into the light she backed away, walking with her face to an unknown darkness. It was probably better than the light, besides, she couldn't fight a giant… thing. Only the thought of it made chills run down her spine, she was disgusted as she remembered the touch of its skin to hers.

_She shuddered._

"Kelsey!" Someone was shaking her a little and Kelsey opened her eyes abruptly.

"What?" she murmured and the shaking stopped, she found herself gazing into chocolate brown eyes and she blushed, embarrassed.

"Aww, man, did I fall asleep?" She groaned and Ryan chuckled.

"Yes, you did. I think you better catch up some breakfast." He smiled and Kelsey found that she could easily return the smile.

"Thanks, I just can't believe I fell asleep!" she exclaimed as she pulled herself up from the chair, slightly stretching her arms, then turning her head sideways to release the knots in her neck.

"Don't worry about it, I don't think Dana noticed and I won't tell Carter." Ryan grinned.

"Er… thanks." She said awkwardly, what else could she say? That old, comfortingly familiar feeling of awkwardness and embarrassment washed over her again and she could feel her cheeks heat up.

"You're wel –"

"Sweetheart! You forgot your – " Illyria rushed into the room carrying a small cellular phone device. "Oh," she stopped. "I didn't realize I was interrupting." She said and blushed. Kelsey tried to suppress the urge to roll her eyes or vomit. _Or both_.

"You weren't, Lyri." Ryan said calmly, a large smile spreading on his face.

Kelsey was blushing now, she felt out of place – a third wheel, should she leave? Then again, she couldn't move her eyes away from his smile, it enchanted her, bewitched her; it was the kind of smile she remembered he gave her on his first day on the Lightspeed team.

"Hi, Kelsey, isn't your shift over? You must be _very_ tired." Illyria said coolly, not a hint of concern in her voice.

"Hey, Illyria. No, I'm not tired." Ryan sent her an amused glance to which she had the dignity to blush and add: "Anymore."

Ryan started to laugh and Kelsey gave him a small smile before heading out of the infirmary, passing near Illyria and not saying a single thing to her. She walked to the ranger common room with a skip to her step, it was the first time she felt genuinely happy in the last couple of months.

*

Her happiness lasted the entire day, so much that in the afternoon she wore her rollerblades put on a helmet and her black and yellow gloves, intending on going out. She skated through the long hallways of the Aquabase, wanting to make sure there was someone with Dana before she ventured out of the Aquabase.

She loved the thrill of sliding very fast through the corridors, swooshing through people, making them stare at her wondrously. She was probably the only one who was allowed skating inside Aquabase territory. She loved it.

Going faster she took a sharp turn to the left, making a random soldier squeal, she laughed and took the immediate turn right and straight into the infirmary – to Dana's room. She entered very fast but skillfully stopped near Dana's bed; she gave Dana a worried glance and moved to read the examination page, a slight frown decorating her forehead.

Sighing, she returned it to its place – hanging at the end of the bed – and turned to survey the room; only then her eyes found Ryan and Illyria watching her. Ryan looked amused and Illyria, rather shocked.

"Are you staying here for a while?" Kelsey asked, intending on replacing them if they could not stay for long.

"We've just arrived when you entered, not that you noticed." Ryan chuckled and Kelsey smiled at him.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for not noticing you." Her words faltered and she shrugged, Ryan shook his head, still chuckling.

"It was too easy noticing you though," Illyria chirped in. "These clothes sign you out from miles away." She added another insult in the form of a compliment, Kelsey frowned slightly and tensed up.

"Well, if you're staying then I'm heading out. Have fun, bye!" She said quickly and skated out of there as fast as she could possibly be.

She hoped the fresh air would make her feel better, calm the tension that was caused not only from Illyria but from those strange dreams… nightmares. What was that thing that attacked her in her dreams? Slick, sort of wet-like, cold... she shuddered. Maybe she shouldn't think of it now, when she finally has go the time to actually have fun in a non-ranger-related way. She missed it.

Too bad she was so out of mood recently.

It was pleasant hearing all the little children playing at the park at sunset, seeing the world warm up to the dying rays of sunlight that departed the earth. She could hear giggles and laughs, watch lovers walking hand in hand or arm in arm and children running and playing with a ball. Everyone had someone or belonged somewhere and she felt so detached, so lacked.

She missed Dana.

She missed Ryan.

Why is it so hard to be happy? She shook her head. There's not a reason in the world that should prevent her from being content and feeling loved! She should try and be her old-self, she was happy then, was she not? And with that, she made the decision; she would try and indulge in all of her hobbies: scary books, rock climbing, jogging, cycling, scuba diving, free diving and of course, skating, maybe she should try new things as well, like horseback riding! There was an old glamour in the good, old extreme, a promise of a feeling that was so long since she last felt it.

With her mind made up, she decided to head back to the Aquabase, hoping for a better tomorrow.

* * *

**A/N:** So, here's another update… been fun with my mates:) Review!


	8. Chapter 8

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Eight:**

The alarms went off in a hot afternoon in Mariner Bay and the five active Lightspeed rangers rushed into battle, Kelsey among them; this new monster looked like a huge rock shaped into a hedgehog, it was all dusty yellow and large, sharp-looking spikes were shooting out of it arms, back and legs. It also had a dinosaur-like tail which was decorated with more spikes; as reinforcements, the monster had a bunch of Batlings.

"Ryan, you and I can take on the monster and the others – take care of the Batlings!" Carter commanded, the four other rangers gave him an agreeing nod and charged.

Kelsey jumped in between Batlings and started taking them down, one by one. She punched one in the gut, making him fall to the ground and disappear, then turned on to another, kicking him and shoving him hard on the floor. Chad and Joel were fighting beside her, each taking care of his own selected group of Batlings, they looked like they were having fun.

After destroying her fourth, fifth and sixth Batlings of the day, Kelsey stepped back to Joel and Chad who were also done with fighting. They watched the rest of the Batlings disappear before running to Carter and Ryan who were fighting the hedgehog and were currently blasted off their feet. The three rangers immediately ran to their side, helping them up before regrouping and attacking the monster once again.

It didn't help much; not even the combined power of five rangers, one of which was strong _as_ five rangers, did much.

"Okay, guys, I think we should pin him down and aim straight to his stomach!" Chad said while evading a blow to the head and trying to aim a kick to the monster's stomach. When he managed to get a hit on the monster, it cringed a little and Kelsey realized Chad was right – his stomach was the weakest spot. Once the monster cringed Chad grabbed its right arm strongly.

"I'll grab his left arm!" Kelsey heard herself say and she ran to the monster who was trying to throw Chad away from itself. She launched herself onto the monster, but everything happened so fast: she was in the air, pushed on the monster, like she had planned but then, suddenly, the monster managed to throw off Chad and turned, flinging its sharp tail on Kelsey.

The tail hit her right side in full force; poisonous spikes cutting through her suit and damaging her flesh. In a flash of horrid pain Kelsey found herself laying on the road, a few kilometers away from her friends, demorphed.

Her right arm hurt like hell. She groaned and gently turned a little to see how her friends were doing. Joel was staring at her and she could tell what he was thinking; did another of their team just go out of action? She bit her bottom lip, refusing to give up or look at the burning ache in her right side. She closed her eyes and sent her arms forward despite the pain.

"Lightspeed, Rescue!"

She morphed and rejoined her friends.

"Joel, Chad, you take his right arm, Carter, you and I can take the left arm. Ryan, you have the greatest fire power, it's your job to hit its stomach!" She commanded and the guys nodded.

"Let's go!" She said and started running towards the monster with Chad, Joel and Carter.

"Rescue Blaster!" She called and shot at the monster, distracting it while they were heading toward it. She couldn't feel the pain anymore, but she knew that somewhere, in the back of her mind, it was there, waiting for her to relax in order to jump back in.

This time, with the help of Carter, she managed to grab the monster's arm, and once it was done, it was easier for Joel and Chad to grab the other arm.

"Now, Ryan!" Carter shouted and Ryan ran forward.

"Titanium Laser!" he called and shot a silver-purple ray of laser into the monster's stomach.

"Let go, let go, let go!!" Kelsey shouted while letting go of the arm she was holding, her friends did the same and they all ran to take cover.

Then, the monster blew up to pieces and it was over.

Panting, Kelsey demorphed, standing next to Carter who also demorphed.

"Great job, Kels." He grinned and she smiled, feeling the unbearable stinging in her right side.

"Thanks, Carter." She breathed watching as Chad and Joel, both cheering victoriously made their way to her.

"Kels! You're awesome!" Chad piped in.

"The best!" Joel added and patted her right shoulder. She flinched at the growing pain, it made her feel sick to her stomach; she took a deep breath trying to stabilize herself, but it didn't work.

"What's wrong?" Carter's eyes were wide with worry now, but the world was moving all around her, so much that she could barely make out Carter's face and then she was falling…

*

She tried to open her eyes but found it impossible, it was like her eyelashes were glued together. She groaned at the effort of trying to open them, but couldn't do anything else.

"Kelsey?" A gentle voice asked her, but she couldn't answer.

"Kelsey, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can." The voice said and then she felt a warm sensation of a warm hand sliding into hers.

She squeezed it.

"Are you in pain? Squeeze my hand if you are." The voice requested again and Kelsey waited a moment, trying to sense it there was any pain that threatened to make her uncomfortable. There was none.

"I'm glad to know nothing hurts anymore." The voice sighed. "You've been here for three days now, the spikes that hit you were poisonous. It took the doctors two days to find a reasonable antidote. I thought I –_we_ were going to lose you." The voice said and she squeezed the hand that was holding hers, hoping to ease his sorrow.

Suddenly she felt a wave of tiredness washing through her, it was taking too much effort to stay awake, listen and squeeze hands.

Somehow, the voice knew it and caressed her loosened hand which was still around his.

"You're tired and I should let you sleep." It said quietly. "Sweet Dreams, Kelsey, I will watch over you tonight." It said in a whisper, so close to her ear the she would've shivered if she could. Then, she felt a light breath on her face and warm lips touched her forehead.

The scent was too familiar to have missed who it was and Kelsey wanted to laugh. Leave it to Ryan to kiss her while she can't respond properly. She didn't care much, though.

That _had_ to be heaven.

*

"I just don't understand why you're here all the time!" A sharp female voice demanded.

"She's my _best_ friend. It's a good enough reason for me to be here as long as I want." Ryan's voice answered.

"Friend, is she?" Kelsey vaguely recognized the voice as Illyria's, only she never heard her so loud before.

"My _best_ friend." Ryan repeated stubbornly, making Kelsey's heart swell with pride and love for him. He stood up for her after all.

"Even after she said your presence ruined her team? You call it a friend, Ry?" Kelsey could feel the blood draining from her face. He _heard_ that? But she only spoke to Chad about it, how could –

"I didn't give her the chance to talk to me about it, I ran away like a coward." Ryan answered in a harsh tone. "Lyri, it was what brought me to you, that's how it was supposed to be." His voice was softer.

"Oh, Ryan," She heard Illyria sigh, "I just don't want her to hurt you again, you were so sad when I've met you." Kelsey fought the urge to vomit, she _hurt_ him? She didn't want to. He's the one to run away before she could explain.

"It's okay, Lyri, I swear. I have you now." His voice was barely a whisper.

"So why you spent the last three days here? You haven't moved from her bed." Illyria demanded, angry again.

"Do you think Dana would like her best friend to be left alone in recovery?" His voice turned harsh again. "I know Dana and she would have liked me to be here, because she would have been here herself, if she could." He replied, a tinge of annoyance added to his voice now.

"You didn't visit Dana once in the entire time you were here, Ryan!" Illyria said louder.

"Keep it down, she'll wake up!" He hissed and there was a sharp noise, which made Kelsey jump slightly.

"Illyria!" Ryan called, but wasn't answered.

Kelsey was scared to open her eyes, afraid to find Ryan hated her for life now. He heard her saying he was ruining the team? When was that? Why didn't he say anything? Guilt flooded her again, springing from the bottom of her stomach and upward. She didn't want to be the cause for trouble for Ryan, she wanted everything to be easier on him. He deserved to be happy.

"Kelsey, you can open your eyes, she's not here." Ryan sighed. Kelsey opened her eyes slowly, blinking rapidly for a few seconds before her eyes adjusted to the light. Ryan was standing near her bed, looking worried, angry and tired; he was wearing some black tee shirt and jeans, his sleeves folded up to his elbows.

"How are you feeling?" He asked carefully, watching her with worried eyes. "Does anything hurt?"

"No." Her voice sounded like she hasn't used it in years and she frowned slightly. Ryan chuckled and moved away from her bed for a moment, then returned with a glass of water, handing it out for her. Kelsey moved her right arm to fetch it but flinched – her arm felt like it was burning in a thousand flames. She couldn't help but squeeze her eyes shut and curl a little, biting her bottom lip.

"I'm sorry it hurts." She felt his arms around her, carefully wrapping her and not touching her injured arm. He was so close that Kelsey could lean her head on his chest, but she had to deny that instinct – Ryan was not hers to cuddle into. She gave him a lot of trouble as it is.  
Yet it couldn't make her heart beat any slower or make the tingles that shot through her body stop. She couldn't help the feeling that this was home, that it felt like she belonged in his arms.

They stayed close, him wrapping her, protecting her for long moments, then he suddenly backed off, embarrassed.

"Are you better?" He mumbled.

She nodded.

He motioned for the water again, this time silently and gently offering it to her lips. She desperately took whatever he could give her and drank from the glass he held for her, her body still throbbing.

"Thanks." She said after a few moments, sounding better.

"You're welcome. How do you feel?" He put the glass on a drawer near the bed.

"Like a herd of elephants ran over me. Yourself?"

He laughed.

"It's good to have you back, Kelsey." He laughed some more.

"It's good to be back." She sighed and carefully pulled herself into a sitting position. "Ryan?"

"Yes?" He stared at her with an unreadable expression in his eyes, ever the mysterious stranger.

"Where did you hear me say you were ruining your team?" She was as honest as a canon, not really afraid to deal the truth, knowing this had to be straightened between them if she wanted to keep working with him, keep being the best friend he claimed she was to him, although in reality... she felt nothing like a best friend.

"You heard that." He sighed and she nodded.

"It was… You and Chad have just returned from scuba diving, you were talking and I waited, I wanted to set the time for the trip to Stone Canyon. Remember when I asked you?" he asked and she nodded silently, she knew exactly what he heard; she was talking about her feelings to Chad and it was then that Chad just told her to talk to Ryan about it. She waited for him to come to her room that night, but he didn't.

"I heard you then." He admitted. "I've put it behind me, Kelsey, honestly." He begged.

Kelsey gulped.

"What did you hear, exactly?" She asked.

"You said that when we were fighting, it was all about me: I was doing all the work and I took your purpose." His voice sounded as guilty as she felt and almost as twice as sad. He was staring down, avoiding her eyes.

"I left after that." He added and she nodded. "I didn't want to hurt you, Kelsey, and it seemed exactly like what I was doing."

"It wasn't like that." Kelsey said quietly.

"What do you mean?" His eyes had a burning question in them and Kelsey nodded.

"Back at the beginning, it bothered me that you fought alone and I saw the consequences in the team, you know? We weren't focused because everyone trusted you to do the dirty work. I was afraid it was becoming a habit, and I didn't know what to do; I didn't want to hurt _you_." She sighed, he fidgeted at her bedside, looking everywhere but at her. She dared to touch his hand, it was warm while her own hand was ice cold. She shivered lightly from the contrast of temperatures.

"Look, you're Dana's brother and Dana's my best friend. And when you used to…" she gulped when his eyes met hers. "Have the nightmares, I felt like you were really close to me and I couldn't bring myself to tell you." She confessed.

"Chad saw there was something on my mind and he wanted to help me so I told him. You didn't hear everything in that conversation, there was a lot more going on, Chad eventually told me to talk to you. I decided to act on it and I waited for you that night, but you never showed up and I never had the chance to explain." Kelsey finished her speech and lifted her eyes to his;

He seemed to be in a deep thought, frowning. His hand was still resting around hers, but then slowly slid away.

"I need to think about this." He said quietly.

"It's the truth." She breathed.

"I know, but I need to… this means a lot to me, Kelsey." He said slowly, standing in place for a moment, processing.

"I'll see you soon." He exited her room, leaving her alone.

When he left, she could finally give away for the tears; curling on the bed and shoving the covers over her head for some private crying. She never thought telling the truth would be this liberating, yet in the same time so shattering. His reaction… Maybe he didn't like her, maybe he saw her as the annoying friend of his little sister. If so, why did he kiss her? It might have been a chaste kiss, an innocent display of affection in a time when he thought her so horrible. How come now he needed to _think_? She told him the truth.

She cried herself to sleep.

* * *

**A/N:** Ah, how I like it when the plot progresses. Ryan's indecisive, Kelsey being injured and Illyria just adds up to the party. I hope that some answers were given to earlier questions:) **R**eview!


	9. Chapter 9

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Nine:**

Two days after the talk with Ryan, she was released from the infirmary and was allowed to her room, but not to her ranger duties. Furthermore, she has been made by the doctor to come and replace the bandages on her arm three times a day and take sedatives whenever it hurt.

Kelsey hated being under the wings of the Aquabase doctor.

She spent her first day out of the infirmary laying on the couch in the common room and reading yet another thriller book. This way, the people coming and going from the room lessened the fear-impact this kind of books usually had on her.

"Hey Kels, want me to bring you anything?" Chad asked as Joel, Carter and himself entered the common room after training, all sweaty.

"Yeah, a gas mask, you guys _stink_." She smirked and Chad stuck his tongue at her. Joel, on the other hand came to sit near her, smelling his armpits appreciatedly.

"Ahh, the good old smell of masculinity." He commented, making Kelsey burst out laughing. Carter and Chad joined her laughter but their laughter wasn't as strong as Kelsey's. Joel just knew how to make her feel good. Chad and Carter's laughs died out a couple of moments later, but Kelsey kept laughing with Joel who was encouraging her laughter by sniffing himself while Oooh-ing and Ahh-ing.

That's why she hadn't noticed Ryan entering the common room, freshly out of the shower and wearing nothing but black training pants.

"What's going on here?" He asked, smiling at the laughing Kelsey.

"Joel behaving like a brute." Chad explained.

"Yeah, he was all 'smell of masculinity' and she cracked up." Carter added.

"Do you think she's in hysterics?" Chad asked, smiling, when he took out a bottle of water and threw it to Ryan's arms. He grabbed it and drank some before turning to watch Kelsey and Joel;

"Joel, do you think you could take a shower? I know you're into preserving the 'smell of masculinity' but from here it smells more like the 'smell of chemical warfare'." She made the proper quota notes and sent Chad, Carter, Ryan and herself into another fit of laughter.

Joel frowned and muttered something about pesky yellow rangers under his breath before he got up, which earned him a slight kick from a yellow ranger.

"Well, I don't know what about you, guys, but I'm going to take a shower and reacquire the scent of hotness." Joel winked at Kelsey who was smirking. "See you later." He said and exited he room.

"That was fun." Chad smiled at Kelsey, who grinned at him.

"Yeah, well, I have to wash off my own smell of masculinity, so if you excuse me…" Carter made his way to the exit, Chad and Ryan chuckling at his words that despite being humorous, were said in a completely serious tone.

"Kels, are you sure you don't need anything?" Chad asked, concerned.

"I'm alright, Chad. Come back later?" Kelsey said while not lifting her eyes from her book.

"Sure, I'm starving." He stopped before the door.

"Me too." She admitted.

"Great, pizza. And do you feel like a movie later?"

"Nah, let's go and see Marina." Kelsey shrugged; she knew he missed Marina and that it would do him some good.

"I love you, Kels." He grinned.

"Love you, too." She called and Chad left.

She kept on reading the book, squealing a little when the ghost appeared and yelping whenever it reappeared. Then she couldn't help but hear a chuckle, lowering the book and looking around, she saw Ryan sitting in front of a cornflakes bowl in the small kitchen.

"Scary book again?" He asked, amused, and she nodded.

"Why are you reading those?" He asked, curiosity shining in his eyes.

"They're interesting." She shrugged.

"They scare you."

"They don't _scare_ me. They _fright_ me a little. It's a sort of a fun thrill." She explained.

"Oh, well, could you lend me one of these books?" there was that unreadable expression again and Kelsey caved into it.

"Sure, come by my room and you can choose whichever book you want." She said simply.

"I'll do that." He smiled. "Kelsey, about two days ago… I –"

"You don't have to explain, I know I mean trouble with Illyria for you, and I just don't want –"

"Don't be silly, you're not. You're my friend, Kelsey, and –"

"Ry, here you are!" Illyria hopped into the room, sprinting to Ryan's side and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Daddy invited us over to his mansion at the beginning of the next month!" She squealed and Kelsey, hidden in the couch, rolled her eyes. "He'll send Thomas to pick us up." Of course _Daddy_ had a mansion with thirty servants and a butler named Alfred or Jeffry or Thomas.

"That's great, Lyri, but you know I need to stay here for my ranger duties." He sounded tired.

"But Ry, Daddy wants to know you better." Illyria pouted and Kelsey just about had enough. She pulled herself up from the couch and walked to the exit.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Illyria lashed out.

"I live here, actually." Kelsey said, trying to appear light. "I'll leave you two to talk." She added and walked out of the common room. She had heard enough of Ryan and Illyria's fights for a lifetime, it wasn't her business and she didn't want to make it her business, especially now that things with Ryan were halfway on being back on track.

She walked to her room quickly, unlocking it with a code and entering; she breathed in the familiar scent of her room and decided to shower and dress for her outing with Chad. She placed the book on her bed and started discarding her pajamas and loosening her hair on the way to the shower. Being extra careful on her arm she quickly soaped and shampooed her body and hair, then rinsed the soap from herself. After a few more moments of enjoying the warmth and comfort the water gave her, she closed the taps and dried up with a towel.

A knock on the door was heard and Kelsey sighed. There just can't be peace and quiet, can it? She tightened the towel to her body and opened the door to a slit, hiding behind the door.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, it's me."

Ryan.

She opened the door and let him in; he entered and closed the door behind him.

"The books are over there," she gestured to her small desk over which were two shelves stocked with books. "Help yourself, I'm going to get dressed." She said, turning her back to him and marching to her closet. She pulled a pair of gray jeans and some panties, bra and a yellow shirt, and then entered the bathroom to dress. Two minutes later she exited the bathroom, barefoot, noticing that Ryan was still standing where he was earlier, a little shocked.

"Ryan? Are you alright?"

"What? Oh." He said and she couldn't help but notice the faint blush in his cheeks. "I waited for a recommendation?" he asked and Kelsey grinned and walked to the shelves, standing on her tip toes and managed to remove a book from the upper shelf.

"This is my favourite." She smiled as she handed him the book.

"Thank you." Ryan said quietly.

"You're welcome." She smiled and went to sit on her bed.

"I guess I should be going," Ryan sighed and turned to the door, then stopped. "I should tell you though." He turned around to face her. "I'm sorry you heard Illyria and I fighting, I know it puts you in a very uncomfortable position. Sometimes she's jealous, but our friendship means a lot to me, Kelsey." He said and his chocolate eyes moved with emotion, dancing in front of her own eyes.

"For me, too." She smiled. "I knew things were a little off between us –"

"About that, you have no idea how sorry I am. My reaction that day in the infirmary, I…" He sighed and Kelsey stood up and touched his arm for a brief moment, making him stop talking.

"Don't, okay? Just don't." She said quietly.

"I want to, Kelsey…"

"Don't make this any more awkward, please." She begged.

"You don't understand. Our friendship, it's the only thing that made me want to stay." He said quietly. "When I heard you… I've been so stupid, I ran away instead of dealing with it and then I met Illyria."

"She makes you _happy_." Kelsey insisted, happiness isn't something one should take for granted.

"_You_ make me laugh." He countered and Kelsey honestly didn't know what to answer. What was he saying with that? Did he love her? Did he hate her? Was she his best friend, or something more? How was she supposed to deal with it now?

"Ryan…" She was tired of this game, why can't he be straight forward?

"I know I've complicated things, but it's how I feel and you're my friend, my _best_ friend. You held your arms open for me since I joined Lightspeed, you accepted me and helped me. I cherish your friendship and no matter how bossy Lyri is, she can't touch it. I promise you that."

Kelsey was most definitely confused.

"What are you saying, Ryan?"

"You're my friend, Kelsey and I won't let you go just because Illyria dislikes the idea of you." That was a relief. _Not_. It only meant things would get even more awkward.

"Thanks, Ryan." She smiled almost sadly, what else could she say?

A knock was heard on the door and Kelsey jumped slightly and hurried to open it and reveal Chad, freshly out of shower.

"Hey, Kels, ready to go?" He asked and Kelsey smiled.

"Thanks for the book." Ryan exited her room, nodding to Chad.

"Sure, just let me get my sandals and we can go." She smiled and quickly donned her sandals, leaving the Aquabase.

* * *

**A/N:** So, finally things are good again. Or are they? *shrug* Well, next chapter is my favourite by far, so I might be tempted to update it later on today. I'll see. **R**eview!


	10. Chapter 10

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Ten:**

She was walking in a dark green forest, the trees so tall it concealed the sun. She walked carefully, for some reason wanting to be undetected. She looked around, everything was so _green_, no offence to Joel or anything. She took step after step, silently, holding herself cautiously her right arm still hurting.

Then she accidently stepped on twig, crushing it.

And felt the need to run, but couldn't because her arm would hurt from the movement. She looked around cautiously, trying to foresee a threat, but there was nothing. She eased her tensed position and tried to relax, breathing in and out.

But then there was a light sound of something in motion.

Kelsey tensed up, looking around, and then she identified it; a huge snake was coming after her. It was three floors high and probably the fattest snake on earth. She started to run, not caring about her arm – caring about her life. She needed a place to hide.

Somehow the snake was faster and it started to wrap itself around her, from legs to shoulders. It squeezed her arms to her body, tightening on her wounds and body and slowly suffocating her.

_She couldn't do anything but scream._

"ARGHHH!!!" She woke up in her bed, covered with cold sweat and her arm hurting like hell; like the dream was real and someone had been grabbing her injured hand and mauling it. Unable to relax, she grabbed her blanket and rolled out of bed, intending on spending the night at the common room.

She padded through the deserted corridors of the Aquabase on her way to the common room. She entered the room and turned on the lights, settling on the sofa carefully, her arm hurting like hell and her heart beating twice as fast. She totally freaked out from that dream. Nightmare. Whatever. She breathed in and out deeply and made her way to Dana's room now;

She hasn't been to Dana's room since the first day she was released from the infirmary, she has seen her less since the guys decided to take longer shifts and not include her because of her injury. She sighed as she slipped into the infirmary corridor and straight into Dana's room.

It was empty.

Kelsey bit her bottom lip and sat on the chair near the bed.

"Hey, Dana, do you mind if I stay here?" She asked gently. "I had a nightmare." She confessed.

She told the tale of the nightmare to her sleeping friend, finally a little more at ease; it was good to have someone to talk to and say all of those things that were hard to deal with. She wasn't proud of the fact she suffered from nightmares, they were childish threats but hers just looked – and felt – so real. They truly scared her.

She held Dana's hand and rested her head next to her, on the bed. Letting the fatigue demand her presence back in Dreamland.

*

"Kelsey?" Ryan's soft voice came from somewhere. "Did you sleep in this chair?"

She mumbled something.

"You shouldn't have." He said to himself more than to her. "I'll take you to your room, little one." He chuckled and in one movement scooped her carefully in his arms and took her to her room. He knew the code, of course, she told him what so he could come in and sleep whenever he felt like it, but he never used it.

He laid her in her bed, making sure she was tucked in.

"Ryan…" She murmured his name and he stopped, his face inches from hers. "Thanks."

"You're very welcome." He responded gently and kissed her forehead.

"Sweet dreams, Love." He whispered and Kelsey was again trapped between the cobwebs of sleep.

*

Kelsey woke up to a new day rather late. She jumped out of bed, slightly cursing at herself for forgetting her injured arm. A quick shower and new clothes and she was at the common room, hoping there were leftovers from breakfast.

"Someone slept in this morning!" Joel teased while she took a plate and a small cornflakes bowl.

"Oh, shut up, I couldn't sleep last night and ended up sitting with Dana for a while. I suppose it was your shift?" She raised an eyebrow at Joel as she sat down.

"Nope, Ryan's." He replied victoriously.

"Oh." Kelsey frowned and looked around: Carter was reading the newspaper, Chad was staring into midair, probably thinking about Marina, and Joel was conversing with her.

"Where _is_ Ryan?" She inquired.

"Illyria demanded a _real_ breakfast." Chad woke up and rolled his eyes.

"As opposed to the 'disgusting, improvised, bad-nutrition food you make here'." Carter added in a scold. Carter was the last person upon the earth to eat something that wasn't healthy, so it was pretty obvious he was mad at the phrasing.

"She's awful." Chad added and Kelsey shrugged.

"She's Ryan's girlfriend and we shouldn't give her a hard time, she isn't used to our style of living."

"Wow, what's with defending her? She's so mean to you." Joel asked, frowning.

"Well, we have enough trouble, do we really want Ryan having more trouble?" She asked and the guys were silent. "I thought so."

"But she's a bitch." Chad said all of a sudden.

"You can say that again." Carter added in a very uncharacteristic demeanor. Everyone looked at him and he blushed. "What?"

"Since when do you say these things on people?" Joel asked, confused.

"Let's just say I had a run in with her in Dana's room." Carter cleared his throat and pointed at the door. "They should be back here any minute, since training starts in ten minutes." He warned and Kelsey took it as a sign to get her plate filled.

Not five minutes later Ryan and Illyria came in, both of them quiet.

"Hey, Ryan, so Kelsey's telling me you didn't watch over Dana last night?" Joel asked and earned a slap to the back of his head from Chad; there were things you just aren't allowed to say in front of your friend's _girlfriend_.

"I was and when I returned with some water, guess who I found sleeping with her head on Dana's bed and taking my chair?" Ryan smirked and Joel laughed while Kelsey changed colours.

"What were you doing at Dana's room so late?" Carter asked all of a sudden.

"I told you," Kelsey rolled her eyes. "I couldn't sleep."

"Probably all those scary books she reads." Ryan chirped in.

"Ryan!" Kelsey glared at him and he laughed. Kelsey sighed and resumed eating, finishing with her plate and moving to the bowl for some corn-induced energy.

"So what are you going to do today, Kels?" Chad took over the conversation. Kelsey swallowed.

"I'm all up for some sun and breeze, so strolling." She shrugged and kept eating. "A good opportunity to stay in shape, too." Everyone but Illyria chuckled.

"Ry, can we go to the mall this afternoon? I need to do some shopping." Illyria chose the moment to interrupt.

"Sure, Lyri, whatever you want." Ryan smiled at her and she squealed and kissed his cheek then left the room.

"Oh, Ry, can we go to the movies this evening?" Joel said in a high voice.

Ryan grinned.

"Don't let her hear you or I'm in trouble." He told Joel who nodded.

"Oh, Ry-poo, you'll never be in trouble with me!" Joel got up on his feet and imitated Illyria's proud walk.

"Joel!" Ryan chuckled. Joel sent him flying kisses and walked over to him, laying his head on Ryan's shoulder.

"Oh, _Ry_." He sighed exaggeratedly. "Can we go to the hairdresser together? He could make our hair look similar!" Joel batted his eyelashes at Ryan in a seductive way. Ryan started to laugh, joining Carter, Chad and Kelsey who were laughing so hard that they clutched their stomachs.

"You're impossible!" Ryan grinned at Joel after the laughing fit died away.

"Thank you!" Joel said and bowed, the other three rangers clapped him.

"Well," Carter sighed and folded his newspaper, "We should get to practice." He said and everyone nodded. They all quickly collected their plates and glasses and put them in the dishwasher before each ranger hurried to his own task of the day.

*

Kelsey was walking in the sun-washed park, enjoying the breeze and warmth. It felt good to breathe the fresh air after the many days she spent locked in the Aquabase, sleeping or resting. The park was almost deserted, there weren't many people walking there in the start of a new day; everyone seemed to be at work or in school and Kelsey loved this solitary, for once.  
There was a lot on her mind; her nightmares for one, she kept having the same motifs in her nightmares, a snake. She always hated snakes, they disgusted her. Just the thought of one touching its slick, smooth skin to hers made her shudder. It was always coming after her and always managed to get to her, wrap her up and strangle her whilst crushing her bones, no matter which turn she took or which way she chose.

Did it mean anything or was it just her overactive imagination? Was it one-too-many thriller books?

She shook her head.

Then, there was Ryan. The ever-confusing-and-awkward Ryan. He wanted friendship but in every one of his words she could detect a hidden message, a hidden emotion. Did he feel something more or was it just her?

It pained her to think her feelings were not returned, but maybe it was true. Maybe she and Ryan were not meant to be together, he had Illyria, after all. The thought of Illyria brought back the memory of Joel imitating her which made Kelsey grin widely. Suddenly her vision blackened, her instincts rose in terror and she froze in place.

"Guess who." Ryan's familiar voice asked and she relaxed.

"Um, Brad Pitt?" She offered somewhat hopefully, he chuckled.

"No, not yet anyway." She laughed.

"Travis Pastrana?"

"I don't think so…" He sang.

"It's got to be Ryan Mitchell, then." She said lightly and his hands were lifted from her eyes. She turned her head to see him but he leaned forward and she had to turn back in order to meet his grin.

"What are you doing here?" she smiled, noticing just how much his eyes sparkled. "I thought you were training?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Well…" Ryan started and laughed shortly. "I'm free for now." He shrugged.

"How did you get past Carter?" She asked simply.

"My secret weapon." He smirked. "If I told you, I'd have to kill you."

"Okay, can we keep walking?" she offered with a chuckle and Ryan nodded; the two resumed walking to nowhere in particular.

"Tell me what you were thinking about, you looked pensive."

"You stalked me, Ryan Mitchell?"

"It's what I do best." He grinned at her and she couldn't help but giggle.

"Do you often think very highly of yourself?"

"If often is every day, then I do. Will you answer my question?"

She sighed.

"I couldn't sleep last night, I tried to understand why." She said quietly. "No, I know why, it's – I just don't understand." She confessed.

"What is it?" He looked concerned; she pointed at a sun-filled spot under an old tree and they started to walk to it.

"It's childish." She bit her bottom lip.

No one talked for a while, they took the time to reach the tree, then sat side by side, leaning against the tree trunk. She liked the fact they could be silent together, he gave her the time she needed.

"Are you afraid of snakes?" she shot the question into the air.

"No." He answered quietly. "There is very little that I'm afraid of. Are you?"

"I do now." She sighed. "Can we talk about you?" she asked, making him chuckle and stare into her eyes, she found herself blushing. His eyes looking into hers was taking this very intimate turn, it made her stomach turn. She gulped.

"Ask me anything." He smiled.

"Have you ever cried?" She knew it was a personal question but he said anything and it was the first thing springing to her mind.

"I don't remember crying since Diabolico took me, so you can say I haven't in a long time." He shrugged. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yes."

"Why did you talk to me in my first day at the Aquabase?"

"You looked lost and I wanted to help you find your place." She shrugged. "We were so used to each other's roles and you were left out." It was really that simple, she turned to look at him and he smiled. It wasn't a huge grin, just a small curve of lips, conveying a lot more than it seemed at first.

"Your turn to ask a question." He noted.

"Can you stretch you legs so I could lean against you? My shoulder hurts." She smiled and he laughed and stretched his legs. Kelsey took the liberty to rest her head in his lap.

"Am I comfortable?"

"Yes." She laughed.

"Will you tell me why you can't sleep?" he stared down at her.

"No, please." She begged and he sighed.

"Okay, distract me then."

"I don't know what to say!" She grinned, suddenly feeling his slightly rougher skin of his fingers trailing her hairline. Her heartbeat raced in a moment. "Well, okay. What's it like being a good guy?" she repeated he asked her a long time ago.

"A lot of paperwork." He responded and they laughed together. His fingers brushed her forehead and one finger traced her nose.

"Really, now." She insisted, still smiling.

"It's surprisingly good. I can trust people, I can be free. It's very different from what I used to have." He smiled. "I like the people I work with, it's something I've never felt and I've never thought I'll feel what's to love again. I do." He confessed and Kelsey fought a lump in her throat, he loved Illyria?

Silence.

How could she respond to that? She sighed silently and waited, let him do the first move. His fingers played with her hair, twisting her curls on his fingers, his eyes watching ahead.

"Tell me something about you." He asked all of a sudden.

I love you. "My birthday's next month."

"Really? What would you like for your birthday?"

You. "Nothing. Now tell me something about you, something no one knows."

"Yellow rangers are my favourite rangers." She giggled.

"Really, Ryan." She pressed.

"Okay, but it's the truth!" He chuckled. "Something about me that no one knows… hmm… I can play the guitar." She smiled, staring up into his eyes.

"Really? Will you play something for me?"

"Maybe." He smiled.

"Ryan, please?" She pouted and he chuckled. His entire palm was now caressing her face and hair, making small shivers run down her spine. She closed her eyes in pleasure.

"Fine, I promise." He gave in so easily! "But you have to promise me something." … or not.

"What?"

"If you ever feel uncomfortable with anything I do, tell me, alright? I won't be angry. I just don't want to lose you, Kelsey." Her heart melted in her chest and she opened her eyes, getting lost in the chocolaty depths of his.

"I promise."

She truly did.

"Good." He smiled while his finger traced her lips. "Now come on, I want some ice cream." He smiled and waited until she pulled herself up. She grinned and offered her good arm to help him up, but he only shook his head and pulled himself up.

He led the rest of the way to the ice cream stand.

* * *

**A/N:** I have to say I'm very pleased with this chapter. It's quite cheery and fun, for me, at least. I'm still shaping out the last scene of this story, it's going a bit slowly to my annoyance, but I might have a break through – another reason to be pleased. **R**eview! :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Eleven:**

She decided to sleep in the common room tonight; she didn't trust her bed to lull her into a safe sleep anymore, there were too many nights of waking up screaming behind her and just wanted them to stop. On the other hand, her arm has healed in the course of the three weeks between her amazing day at the park with Ryan and present time. She was actually almost done with physiotherapy.

She made sure she was wrapped up in her blanket and tried to empty her head to prevent any dreams. She was terrified of another nightmare that would end up with her death and screaming. Slowly, she gave in to her tiredness, her eyelids becoming heavier until she fell asleep.

She was at the Aquabase now, sitting in Dana's infirmary room only her bed was empty. She was waiting for something; The silence was disturbed by a faraway hiss and Kelsey stood up on her feet, anticipating the arrival of the huge snake, she wanted to morph but her morpher wasn't on her. She shuddered, knowing that this time ,too, she couldn't run away or evade and then – it came. Huge, like always, terrifying, and she couldn't so anything; panic swarm her senses and she was frozen, watching as the slick, disgusting creature wrapped itself around her, crushing her bones, but not too much. Kelsey wondered about the decreased pressure and looked up at the creature's black eyes.

_It was then that it bit her neck, the venom slipping into her body, ice cold and burning, she screamed._

"AAARRGHHH!" she yelled and woke up, there were tears in her eyes, cold sweat everywhere and an overwhelming fear she didn't know how to deal with. She sat up on the couch, lost, and started to cry, hugging her knees to her, shivering.

She was just too scared and it was so childish – a nightmare. Even though there was nothing childish about her nightmares, it felt strange to think about talking about it to someone else. She was lost and alone and scared. She was still crying, moving back and forth. Helpless.

"Kelsey?" Ryan's voice asked and in a second he was sitting next to her, hugging her close, allowing her to lean her head on his chest.

"What happened, Kelsey? Why are you crying?" He was so concerned now, she could tell, his arms held her tightly and his lips murmured words of comfort that were to low to hear.

"I have nightmares, well, _nightmare_. It's the same one every time I close my eyes." She admitted. "It's so stupid, but I can't help it. I wake up screaming every night and tonight, it was scarier tonight." She sniffled. "I tried everything, I can't make it stop." She cried, tired.

Ryan pressed her closer against him.

"Tell me." Was the only thing he said.

"It always begins when I'm alone in some place, forest, cave, even Dana's room in the infirmary." Kelsey sniffled. "I always feel I need to keep guard and then something happens and this giant snake comes after me. I don't have my morpher and there is nobody to help me, I run if I can and it comes after me. It always ends up with the snake crushing me and suffocating me, but tonight it bit me, too." She couldn't help the new stream of tears.

"Oh, Kelsey." He murmured and kissed her forehead, trying to soothe her.

"I never had a problem with snakes but since this dream… I'm so frightened." She gasped for air, Ryan held her close and she rested her head on his chest, trying to let his presence calm her. She knew he would protect her, always.

"When did the nightmares began?"

"About the time you came back." Her voice was muffled by his shirt.

"Kelsey, it's been three months. Does it happen every night?" He sounded deeply worried.

She nodded and he braced her tighter.

"You should've told me." He amended gently.

"It's so childish, I – I didn't know what to think…"

"Kelsey, I had nightmares, too, I think you can trust me to understand what it's like." He said responsibly. "Now, let's go, we're sleeping in your room tonight."

"I don't want to sleep." Her lips told his shirt.

"You have to. Come on." He said firmly and got up, pulling her with him. He led her to her room, dialing the code and opening the door. Once inside, he locked the door and looked at Kelsey expectantly.

"Get into bed." He ordered.

"I need a shower," she murmured, "Cold sweat."

"Okay, I'll make my own bed." He said and Kelsey nodded and went to the closet, choosing a black training pants and a yellow sports bra. She then entered the shower while Ryan helped himself to the blankets and pillows that used to be his own bed not too long ago.

*

When she exited the bathroom, wearing her new set of clothes, she saw him shirtless on his back, laying on his improvised bed and toying with a small yellow bear.

"Joel got it for me right before you came back, there was this Medieval Festival downtown and I didn't want to go. So when everyone came back, each one brought me something to cheer me up, they're the best friends ever." She smiled and Ryan smiled back.

"And you. Thank you for doing this." Her cheeks heat up again, luckily it was dimmed.

"You did this for me, too." He said softly.

"Still." She insisted and Ryan sighed.

"Get into bed, Kelsey." He smirked and Kelsey rolled her eyes and did as he said; after digging her way in between the covers, she sighed.

"Ryan, I'm scared." She murmured.

"Take my hand." He said in a low voice, offering his hand;

She took it, her fingers entwining with his and slowly she relaxed.

"Good night, Ryan." She mumbled.

"Sweet dreams, little one." He murmured as they both fell into a sweet slumber.

*

She woke up naturally, opening her eyes and blinking; remembering the events of last the night she turned her head to see if Ryan was there. He was there, alright, awake and still holding her hand.

"Good morning." He greeted with a smile.

"'Mornin', can't see what's good in it." She muttered and Ryan laughed.

"It's a new day." He smiled. "I thought you were a morning person?"

"I used to be, but after the nightmares… Well, I just can't get enough sleep." She shrugged and yawned, covering her mouth with her hand. "See?"

He smiled.

"I should go to check on Dana and wash myself in my own room." He told her and Kelsey blushed.

"Sorry I kept you –"

"Don't be, I'm happy to be here. I didn't want to leave you alone with your dreams." His voice was soft and Kelsey felt her heart giving in to him with every second she spent with him.

"Thank you." She whispered while she watched him get up and quickly fold the several covers he slept on. He was silent for a moment, while he finished fixing everything into an organized pile, then he smiled and caressed Kelsey's cheek.

"I'll do anything for you."

* * *

**A/N:** This was kind of short, but this is it for today. I wonder what's in store for tomorrow. *checking* Oh, _that_. Ooooh, things get even more intimate. **R**eview!


	12. Chapter 12

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Twelve:**

Another battle has just been won and the rangers demorphed;

"Good work, everyone." Carter said in his strictly-business voice.

"Hey, Kels, want to go flying with me today?" Joel chirped immediately, Kelsey's eyes lit.

"Yes!" She nearly squealed like Illyria.

"Great! I'll go ask permission from Hottie Fairweather and we're game." Joel added and Kelsey nodded.

"Thank you!" She grinned and turned to watch everyone else; Chad tried to look away, hiding a grin, Carter had his serious face on and Ryan was smiling. That was _suspicious_. She frowned lightly, were they hiding something from her? Hm… It seemed so, she'd have to question Ryan tonight, but for now – why shouldn't she enjoy the privilege they bestowed upon her?

She grinned slyly, waiting until the guys were ahead of her, she ran and grabbed Ryan's arm, pulling him back a little.

"I have no idea what you guys are planning, but you're _so_ going to tell me about it." She half-whispered and started to walk away, but Ryan caught her hand in his.

"Is that so, Kelsey Winslow?" He chuckled. "I can promise you I don't intend on telling you a single thing." He smirked and Kelsey glared, which made him laugh.

"Come on, what kind of a best friend are you? Tell me!" She pouted.

"The _very_ best kind," he smirked at her, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "I'm not telling you anything." He grinned.

"We'll see who wins." Kelsey muttered lowly and pulled her hand from his, jumping in the Rescue Rover while Ryan jumped into his motorcycle.

*

"Have no doubt, boys, she screamed like a girl." Joel said, laughing, while Kelsey and himself entered the common room after a long afternoon together.

"I did not." She muttered darkly, Carter and Chad were laughing now. Okay, so she did. Joel knew how to handle his plane and made her scream to the skies while he laughed evilly pulling one stunt after the other. It had taken her ten minutes to stop shaking when they were finally on the ground.

"Oh, yes you did!" Joel chuckled. "You should've seen her! I never thought I'd see the day Kelsey Winslow was scared, but today was the day!" Kelsey had the decency to blush now, Chad and Carter were down to chuckling.

"Come on, Kels, it's okay to be afraid." Chad smiled and patted on the chair next to him.

"I know and Joel can pull the worst stunts while on air!" Kelsey exclaimed, making Joel laugh.

"Thanks, Kels. Hey, where's Ryan?" Joel gave a meaningful look to the other men in the room. Kelsey glanced at them and laughed.

"Your plan went wrong, boys?" She chuckled and three pairs of glaring eyes turned on her.

She laughed some more.

"For your information, Ryan and Illyria went out to dinner which is the best opportunity for us to talk to you." Chad said responsibly.

"About what?"

"Ryan." Carter and Joel answered together.

"What about him?"

"You like him." Chad said simply.

"He's my best friend, I have to _like_ him; It's a part of the job description." She answered coolly, hoping her fast heartbeats won't turn her in.

"You like-_like_ him, like Carter here 'likes' Dana." Joel insisted.

"I do _not_... –" Carter started but Joel just brushed his hand in the air.

"Well, admit it." Chad insisted.

"Why would I love Ryan? He has Illyria." Kelsey insisted on keeping the façade.

"Don't bullshit us, _please_, he doesn't have to be single for you to like him." Joel rolled him eyes, making Kelsey blush. Would she admit the truth?

"You know what? Fine, I do like him. More than that, I _love_ him. But he can't know that because he's with Illyria and I don't want to stand in their way." Kelsey said it very quickly, hoping to avoid the embarrassment, but the guys caught up on it and high fived each other for the success of making her admit it, probably.

For Kelsey, it was surprisingly painless to admit her feeling to Ryan. She never thought she would be able to talk about it with anyone, let alone her friends, but they've made it just too easy. She was glad they insisted and pressed her until she told him, even though they didn't have to use much force on her; it was hard to keep it inside with each passing day, anyway.

"For a bunch of guys, you're very perceptive, I have to say." She smiled, still a little blushed.

"Look, you're so much better than her and you two actually talk and have fun together. She just orders him around, I don't know how he can take it." Chad shrugged.

"I have to agree, she's just plain mean. What good will she do to him? You're so much more than her." Carter said all of a sudden, making the three friends stare at him. He blushed. "What?!"

"I think it was the most passionate thing you've ever said." Chad raised and eyebrow and Carter shrugged.

"He's better off with Kelsey! They work together, they _click_."

"Oh my god, I think he has a fever!" Joel said with wide eyes and rested his palm on Carter's forehead. "Are you feeling alright?" He asked the red ranger, deeply concerned.

Carter glared at him.

"What I'm saying here is that I don't think it's a one side thing. He likes you a lot. He talks about you all the time, he tells Dana about you and he obviously adores you." Carter continued.

"How do you know all that?" Kelsey asked, frowning slightly.

"I heard him once, accidentally." Carter shrugged. "He won't stay oblivious for long, Kelsey. One day he'll wake up and put all the pieces together." He insisted gently and Kelsey couldn't miss the mental picture of waking up to a knowing Ryan who would not hold her hand against the nightmare.

She shook her head.

"So what are you going to do about your feelings for him?" Chad asked.

"Feelings for who?" Ryan's voice came from the entrance of the common room. The four people froze for a short moment. Kelsey tensed up the most, her heartbeat racing and her hands shaking a little.

"Some guy." Carter recovered quickly.

"Yes, she's having guy trouble and we're helping." Chad added.

Kelsey was as red as Carter's crimson tee shirt.

"Where's Illyria?" Joel asked.

"Guy problem?" Ryan frowned slightly and stared at Kelsey who wanted to disappear from the face of the earth.

"Yes," Chad ventured. "Tell her a guy can't stay oblivious for a girl's feelings for him for long." Carter smacked his head while Kelsey felt Ryan's gaze moving on her.

"I suppose." He looked confused. "I mean, how would a guy know a girl has feelings for him unless she tells him, right?"

Joel shook his head.

"You can tell from the way she looks at you, man. It's like adoration and light shining in her eyes, and the way she smiles at you, she doesn't smile like that to anyone else. The way she talks to you, there is always a lot more underneath the surface."

Kelsey wanted to bury herself somewhere no one would find her.

"Er.. guys, I think that's enough. I need a shower –"

"I had no idea you feel like this." Ryan told her all of a sudden, making four pairs of eyes to widen.

"What?" Kelsey laughed nervously.

"I meant, I didn't know you feel like this for someone. You should've told me." He said and she shook her head.

"Actually, it was supposed to be my secret, but those guys are perceptive." She said seriously and shrugged. "Nothing I can do. I have to go." She said quickly and practically ran out of the common room, barely managing to drag her dignity intact.

She walked to her room quickly, breathing in and out, hoping to ease the tension in her body. She felt so embarrassed! How could she face Ryan later that night? It was going to be so weird! She shook her head and right when she came in front the door to her room she saw Illyria.

"Illyria? What are you doing here?" Kelsey frowned slightly, suspicious.

"Oh, Kelsey, I think I got lost! Can you tell me where my room is?" she seemed nervous and Kelsey pointed at the direction of the common room. As the guest rooms were very close to the common room, you didn't need your guests wandering around, did you?

"Near the common room." Kelsey added and walked to her door, dialing her code and entering.

*

Later that night, she was dressed in her pajamas and waited for Ryan while reading a book Chad loaned her a long time ago and she didn't have the time to read.

A knock was on her door.

Kelsey got up and quickly reached for the door, opening it to reveal a bare chest Ryan.

"Hey." He said, making her lift her eyes from her book, giving him a smile.

"Hi, come in." She said, leaving it to him to lock the door and follow her inside. She climbed on her bed and kept reading.

"Kelsey." He said her name and she glanced down at him; he was sitting on his improvised bed. "Can we talk?"

She nodded and put her book away, on her nightstand.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Guy trouble?" He offered and she blushed.

"Do we really have to talk about that?" It was too embarrassing.

"Tell me about him." He requested and Kelsey sighed; this was going to be harder than she thought, should she tell him the truth? Should she lie? This was so awkward! Carter, Joel and Chad will _die_ tomorrow; she had no doubt in that.

"Well, he's great, he's smart and funny, caring and sensitive. He reminds me a lot of you." She felt tensed and strange. It was a scene out of a bad chick flick and she hated how movie-like her life turned out to be lately.

"Why didn't you tell me about him?" He sounded so guilty. "Was I a bad friend?"

"No, Ryan, it's just… It's weird, talking to you about him. That's girl talk, okay? It's a Dana talk." She said almost desperate for him to understand, she felt a relief when he chuckled.

"You can talk to me about anything. I'm just curious about this guy, he has to be… different, special, to have your heart."

"He is." Kelsey said softly.

You have no idea how incredible he is, how incredible _you_ are.

"Hold my hand?" She asked and Ryan smiled and laid back on his bed, offering her his hand. She took it, the texture of his palm sending small shivers in her body. She smiled down at him and he smiled back, entwining their fingers.

"Sweet dreams, My Kelsey."

"Good night, Ryan." She mumbled.

*

She was in her room now, reading a book on the bed and enjoying the silence; the book wasn't her usual thriller, more like romantic lovey-dovey material but it was fun to read. She has just read the part where the heroine declared her love to the hero when her door burst and a huge snake slithered inside, hissing. Kelsey backed away, falling from the bed and crawling up against a wall. Every fiber of her being was shocked and screamed for help as the snake's forked tongue tasted the air, tasted her fear and it came close to her, staring into her eyes.

_All Kelsey could see was the dead blackness of them before she heard someone calling her name;_

"Kelsey!"

"Kelsey, wake up, it's just a dream."

She opened her eyes at once to see brown eyes peering worriedly down at her, deep and lively; she wasn't thinking anymore, her eyes running from his eyes down to his face and up again, trying to understand. He was hovering above her but it didn't scare her.

"It's okay," He whispered and lowered his head, kissing her cold forehead with warm lips, not caring about the sweat. "It's okay, I'm here and I won't let any snake get to you, I promise." His voice was soft and gentle and Kelsey relaxed a little.

"I'm here, Kelsey, don't be scared." He told her quietly, moving slightly so his eyes would stare down at her.

"Ryan." His name was like a sigh of relief to her, he was there and he didn't let her go through this alone.

"Yes and I'm not going away." He looked determined, Kelsey nodded and shivered. She watched Ryan moving again and bringing another cover to wrap her. He slipped under the covers next to her and pulled her close to him.

"Go back to sleep, I'm here." He murmured gently to her ear. She was sleepy and more than a little queasy, suddenly extra aware to how physically close he was to her; she still felt scared and shivered every now and then.

"Kelsey, face me, please." He said from behind her, she slowly turned around and he smiled at her and kissed her forehead again, which sent her heart racing.

"Don't be uncomfortable, come here." He whispered and pulled her a little closer, so close that she could bury her face in his chest and inhale his intriguing scent.

"Always know that I'm protecting you, My Kelsey." He murmured to her hair, she nodded and tried to ease the tension that gripped her body. She could feel his chest rising and falling and the pleasant skin of his chest touching hers. Then his arm came sliding to her waist, making sure she stays close. She looked up at him and he smiled down at her.

"No place to run away from me." He chuckled and the rumble of his chest sent tiny shivers of anticipation through her body.

"I don't want to." She mumbled, then froze slightly, not believing she actually said that. She looked up carefully, he only smiled and bent a little to kiss her nose. She buried her face in his chest again, letting the calm and peaceful ease her into a protect sleep, in the arms of Ryan. She was in between sleep and awake when she heard him speak so soft and low;

"Sleep now, My Love."

* * *

A/N: Haha. Next chapter they wake up together *wiggles eyebrows*. **R**eview and tell me how was it!


	13. Chapter 13

**Bite You Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Thirteen:**

"Kelsey…" Someone kissed her temple. "Wake up, little one."

Her eyelids fluttered and she found herself staring into a bare chest, looking up she saw Ryan smiling down at her. He kissed her forehead.

"Good morning." He smiled, making her blush which in turn made him laugh.

"Thank you, Ryan." She murmured and leaned her head on his chest for another moment.

"Anything, Kelsey." He reminded her simply.

Silence.

He moved slightly and leaned his forehead against hers, staring into her eyes with a smile.

"Have a good day today." He spoke softly and affectionately touched his nose to hers; Kelsey thought she was about to faint. He was so close, _too_ close and last night, did she dream she heard him call her 'my love'?

"Ryan…" She whispered, not knowing what to say except repeating his name over and over again, like a prayer. The world was too cruel this morning. She wanted to cry and tell him that she loves him, but there were too many things keeping them apart, a large chunk of it being Illyria, the other – their role as colleges, rangers on the same team.

She peeked up at him and found out he was staring at her with a smile and his eyes were sparkling and moving, swirling.

She blushed.

"Kelsey…" He breathed and his fingers played with her hair. "I need to go; we have to get to breakfast and then our training within the hour."

"I don't want to move." She whispered, not believing she actually said that.

"Me, too." His eyes darted from her eyes to the rest of her blanket-covered body. "But we have to." He added after a short moment.

"I know." She sighed and slid away from him slowly, then ventured out of the covers and stood up, shivering lightly, and once Ryan was out of the covers and standing in front of her, he pulled her close. She leaned her forehead on his shoulder, closing her eyes for a moment.

"Thank you, Ryan." She breathed.

"I'll always be here if you need me." Was the only thing he answered before he kissed her forehead;

"I'll see you at breakfast." He sent her one last smile and slipped out of her room.

Kelsey allowed herself to fall back to her bed, sighing happily; it might not have been what she hoped for, but it definitely felt amazing. They were so close and touching and he kissed her more times than she could actually remember and it was…elation.

She wanted more.

It was so wrong of her, he had a girlfriend and she wasn't going to turn into some scarlet woman, despite how much she wanted him. She sighed gravely and got up and walked to the shower, hoping to distract herself with the hot water.

*

"Kelsey!" Joel called enthusiastically once she entered the room.

"Hey, Joel." She smiled at him and looked around. "Where is everyone?"

"Well, Carter's with Dana, Ryan's saying goodbye to Illyria and Chad's late, I think." Joel answered and grinned at her. "It leaves us two to make breakfast."

"Ryan's saying goodbye to Illyria?" Kelsey repeated, confused. Surely, he didn't…?

"Uh, yeah, she's going to her Dad's or something and the next two weeks are going to be Bitch-Free!" Joel exclaimed enthusiastically and raised his arms in thanks. Kelsey laughed.

"Wow, I didn't know she bothered you that much." She smiled and Joel shot her a glare.

"No, I'm happy because maybe in her absence Ryan would _finally _wake up and realize how much he loves you." Joel sounded so sure of himself and Kelsey sighed.

"You don't know that." She countered.

"I may not, but how can he resist you, my most bewitching yellow ranger?" Joel bowed to her.

"Okay, stop sucking up, I'll make breakfast." Kelsey rolled her eyes.

They both laughed.

"How about some pancakes?" Joel offered.

"Alright, it'll be right up." She grinned and headed to the small kitchen, when she stopped and turned back. "Hey, Joel?"

"Yes, my fair banana maiden?"

She laughed and shook her head.

"Would you put on some music?"

"Sure." He answered and Kelsey took out the blender and the rest of the pancake groceries and started working. In a few moments the smell of cooking pancakes and the sound of loud music filled the common room, Joel sang-shouted the words to all the songs he knew while Kelsey flipped pancakes expertly.

"Hey, Kels, need any help?" Chad shouted over the music when he appeared next to her.

"Just set the table!" Kelsey answered, half yelling as well. He nodded and disappeared behind her, she returned to her cooking, singing and enjoying the rhythm while flipping the last batch of pancakes she had left.

_When you are alone in the lands of forever_

_Lay under the Milky Way_

Kelsey sang with the music, finishing the last batch of pancakes and flipping them into the serving plate, putting the pan away and the blender in the sink.

_On and on getting to late_

_I'm not in love this time_

_This night_

Kelsey brought the serving plate and put it on the table, seeing Carter on the couch, watching in horror as Chad and Joel danced all through the common room. Kelsey laughed and started jumping and joined Chad and Joel shaking her body to the rhythm and singing along.

Carter looked terrified.

That only made dancing like crazy more worth it to her. It was always Dana's job to pull Carter into the dance and even though he hasn't danced, he still got in the mood.

"Come on, Carter, stop being such a nerd." She laughed and offered her arms to Carter; he looked at her arms for a moment, calculating. When he still hesitated, Kelsey sent a look and Chad and Joel who just pulled Carter up by force and danced around him. Soon after, Joel left Carter and reached for Kelsey, offering her his hand and she took it with a laugh; the two danced together, Kelsey really enjoyed it – Joel would twirl her and make her smile with the goofy faces her sent her.

That's when Ryan came in.

Kelsey immediately noticed his presence, freezing lightly before returning to dancing, she couldn't let Joel down. He was smiling at her, well, probably at all of them; when the song was over Carter quickly reached for the stereo, turning it off.

"Party Crasher!" Joel blamed. "It has just started being good!"

"Yeah, Carter, honestly." Chad added.

"Come on, guys, let's eat. I'm starving!" Kelsey quickly added and pointed at the table, Joel grinned at the sight of the pancake-ful table, making Kelsey laugh and shake her head.

"Hey, Ryan, have you ever tasted Kelscakes? Those are the best pancakes around." Chad said while elbowing Carter who smirked. Ryan, still sitting on the couch rose a bit, looking back at the rangers who were now sitting down to the table.

"Come to papa!" Joel declared as he sat down and started loading pancakes on his plate.

Ryan lazily got up, stretched and joined the table, suddenly very awake and eying the load of pancakes that was decreasing by the second. Mostly by Joel;

"It's been too long." Joel said with a mouthful, making Chad and Carter laugh and Kelsey shake her head again.

"You're hopeless, Joel." She smiled and noticed how Ryan slipped into a seat quietly, carefully picking one pancake and putting it to his plate. He cut it, held it up on his fork and sniffed it, giving it a puzzled look.

"Ryan?" Kelsey asked after a moment, making him look at her and put the fork down. "Is this the first time you're having pancakes?"

He nodded, making Joel gape with a full mouth. Not a pretty sight.

Kelsey stood up and walked to stand near Ryan, taking his fork and stabbing a large chunk of pancakes from the serving plate and moved it to his plate.

"Okay, what do you want with it?" He gave her another puzzled glance that made him look so cute. She shook her head, smiling and added; "There's Honey, Maple Syrup, Chocolate Syrup, sugared-cream cheese."

"I'm… not sure?" He gave her a hesitated glance.

She smiled.

"Okay, you should try the chocolate first." She decided for him, Carter handed her the chocolate syrup bottle and she took it, pouring a little on the small mountain of pancakes in his plate.

"Try it." She gestured and he obeyed; he carefully cut a piece of the flat-chocolate-filled pancake and carefully placed it in his mouth. He chewed on it slowly, a tortured look appearing on his face.

"No?" She asked and he shook his head and reached for the water, gulping a full glass in one swipe. "What didn't you like?"

"Too sweet." He claimed and earned puzzled looks from anyone at the table but Kelsey. Well, that ruled out just about everything else, but it was sort of unique; everyone liked the sweetness and he didn't appreciate it much and he wasn't afraid to admit it.

"That's alright," She reassured him. "That rules out just about everything except maybe the sugar-cream-cheese?" She said and grabbed the small bowl from Joel's prying hands and put some in Ryan's plate.

She watched as Ryan took another careful bite and shook his head, reaching for water again, which she immediately poured into his glass. He drank it in one swipe again and shrugged.

"Maybe I'm not cut out for it." He seemed a little embarrassed and Kelsey put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, Ryan, you don't have to like everything we do." She tried to reassure him again, not wanting him to feel left out.

"I think I like it better plain?" He said after a few moments of hesitation. That made her frown slightly and then shrug.

"Give it a try." She smiled and went back to her chair, grabbing the chocolate syrup on the way and drowning her pancakes.

"He actually likes it _plain_." Joel looked horrified. "What's _wrong_ with him?" He added for a good measure, making Chad and Carter laugh.

"Don't worry about it, Ryan." Carter grinned and patted his shoulder. Kelsey looked at Ryan who was actually eating five pancakes at once, he really liked it plain, which meant he really liked her pancakes, otherwise he couldn't have stand it plain. His eyes caught hers and they swirled happily, she zoomed out to his face and he was grinning.

"Really good, Kelsey." He smiled, pointing on his loaded fork.

She blushed.

"Thanks." She murmured and returned to her plate in silence; his gestures and his words embarrassed her, flattered her and confused her to no end, she didn't know whether to feel ecstatic, agitated or anxious. He was giving her mixed signs and she wasn't sure how to take it. She knew what she wanted it to be: love.

She closed her eyes for a moment.

She shouldn't want this. He was taken by a mean girlfriend that she doesn't want to mess with or be anywhere near her. She had enough troubles of her own, nightmares, for him to cost her yet another distraction. Why did her heart choose him? It was hard to think a warm, chatty and hyperactive person such as herself would be drawn to a so-down-to-earth-that-he's-nearly-pessimistic, almost wordless and formerly evil guy. He might have changed a little from when he first came to the Aquabase, but at the core he was it: not the best talker, not always verbal and very gentle, somewhat subtle. She knew she was attracted to him, she was crazy not admit it especially now when nearly half of the world already knew of her feelings.

"Kelsey?" Chad moved a hand in front of her face and she caught herself, jerking a little.

"Hey – what? Sorry, I was… thinking." She said quickly and Chad smiled at her.

"I was saying that after training we can go underwater to see Marina for a few?" He asked and then immediately added, "She asked to see you the other day when I visited, said she missed you."

"Oh, great then!" Kelsey smiled warmly at Chad and frowned a little; she then glanced at Carter.

"D'you mind if I'm a little late to training? There's something I need to do." She asked him quietly.

"No, go ahead." Carter seemed too be in a happy mood.

"Okay, so, have fun consuming the rest. I'll be back later, okay?" Kelsey stood up really quick, gathering her half eaten plate and putting it in the sink before heading out of the common room and in her room.

*

Once inside she side and took off her shoes, sighed softly and sat on her yellow-covered bed, staring at a random spot in front of her. She couldn't keep thinking about Ryan like that, it made her feel guilty and she felt she wasn't fair to Illyria. His kisses had the appearance of innocence, but they weren't really – everything told her it was wrong on some level.

Was it?

Probably. The pain flooded her then, the pain that told her that she couldn't be with Ryan, not like this; she wasn't a bad person and she couldn't bring herself to hurt another on purpose, even if that person was probably the least pleasant person she's ever met.

Suddenly she turned to the door, anticipating a knock that took place a moment later. She waited until he opened the door, entered and closed it behind him, looking at her.

"Kelsey?"

She didn't answer and prohibited herself from looking at him.

"Kelsey, look at me, please." She felt his weight on the bed and she knew he was begging her now. She knew what she had to do, but refused to acknowledge it. She felt tears prickling her eyes but then his hand touched her chin and made her look at him. He looked as distressed as she felt.

"Tell me what's wrong." He told her quietly.

"We can't – you can't help me with my nightmares anymore, Ryan." She said, trying to sound as cold as possible.

"Why?"

"Because – because it's getting too close and you're can't stop them." It was the first thing that came on her mind.

"It's not true, last night –"

"Last night the nightmare happened and I was scared, but no more than usual and I can take care of it myself." She managed to say queasily.

"Why are you lying to me, Kelsey?" He pressed and she could tell his temper was flaring and his patience decreasing.

"Ryan –"

"No, you're not telling me something. I'm not stupid." He insisted.

"You can't know everything." She countered.

"I'm your _best_ friend." He said it so simply and in such a reassured tone; she wished he had been something else.

"Chad is my best friend, too." She pointed out.

"Was he here last night? Did he sleep on the floor just so he could hold you when those nightmares made you scream and cry?!" Ryan's eyes turned darker, not sweet like milk chocolate, bitter, like dark chocolate.

"You can't –"

"You _promised_ to tell me." He insisted, then made sure to stare into her eyes, she felt naked. "Tell me what hurts you so much that you had to leave a great breakfast behind you and push me away like I don't care about you." He whispered quietly.

"No."

"_Fine_, Kelsey." He snapped, rose on his feet and left her room, the door clicking behind him. She stared after him in the darkness of her bedroom for a long moment, the curled on the bed desperately.

"I love you." She whispered and buried her face in her pillow, crying.

* * *

**A/N:** Hmm… I guess someone is pushing it without even knowing it? Oh, well. **R**eview!


	14. Chapter 14

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Fourteen:**

(Same day as previous chapter)

That night, Kelsey Winslow was afraid to go to sleep.

She was lying on the bed, staring at the ceiling in a complete darkness, fearing the moment the desperate webs of sleep would thread around her. This was hopeless and she knew it, she would fall asleep sooner or later and she will wake up screaming and crying like every other night. Wasn't it a better open to fall asleep do that cycle of sleep, waking up screaming, calming down and getting back to sleep?

She hated feeling this helpless, but she didn't have a choice.

Suddenly her door opened and Ryan stepped inside, silent. He closed the door behind him and made his bed from the folded covers that were still waiting on the floor from last night. Kelsey watched him quietly, somewhat relieved. She hadn't a clue what was he doing in her room, especially after their stupid argument. Well, it wasn't stupid. Not to her, anyway, she saw it as clear as daylight – it was him who was so blind.

"What are you doing here?" She asked when he laid back on his bed.

"I'm _protecting_ you." He half growled and Kelsey felt relief hitting her, he came to her room despite their fight just so he could watch over her and be there when she woke up, terrified. Only then she allowed herself to crawl between her sheets and rest her face on her pillow, unafraid.

"I'm sorry, Ryan." She whispered quietly; she was sorrier for herself rather than him though. He was so protected in his ignorance of this specific matter… if he knew, she could see only two scenarios, the first being him completely alienating her in some noble purpose to avoid hurting her, while the other… it was too surreal to think about that, Ryan understanding the feeling is mutual and they live happily ever after. Things just don't happen this way.

She tiredly slipped one hand under her cool pillow, while the other rested on the other end of the pillow. Then she felt warm, rough hand touching hers under the pillow; she sighed, barely making out Ryan's low murmur.

"Sweet Dreams, My Angel."

*

Kelsey was lying on her bed, reading a book; looking down she saw Ryan sleeping peacefully, looking angelic and that's a lot considering the fact he is a former minion of evil. She smiled at he's sleeping figure; dirt blond hair tousled, red lips slightly open while his chest rose and fell in deep, rhythmic breaths. He looked like a model in a sleeping ad, beautiful. Sexy.

She shook her head. She had to avoid thinking of him this way. It was wrong!

He was sleeping now and she couldn't help herself from staring; staring on what she could never have, there was a pang of hurt in her chest and she sighed. A far off hissing noise was heard but she felt safe and protected with Ryan, even when he was sleeping. Shrugging it off she went back to reading, but then it happened–

A huge, black snake slithered into the room. She looked, bewildered at Ryan but he wasn't moving.

"Ryan?" She called and touched his body, but it was cold.

He was dead.

_Petrified from her discovery, Kelsey found herself unable to move a muscle, waiting until the snake got to her and–_

"Kelsey! Wake up, I'm here! I'm here, Kelsey." Ryan's voice echoed around her, she opened her eyes, tears immediately pouring down. She knew she was shaking; she looked straight ahead, seeing Ryan watching her worriedly from above her.

"It's okay, I'm here." He told her and motioned to move forward to hold her, she held back, still affected by her dream, fearing that if she touches him he'll be cold as ice. His expression turned from worried to soft, his brown eyes swirling warmly, reassuringly.

"It's okay, My Kelsey, I'm here." He spoke so gently that she had to believe him. She sat up, still keeping a distance from him; she gulped, feeling scared and lost. She knew it was another nightmare, but tonight it has been the first night it involved someone other than herself. Ryan. She whimpered, pain going through her entire form.

"Kelsey…" He breathed and she inched closer to him, slowly, still afraid to find out he was cold and unresponsive.

"I don't want to stay here." She said in a small voice, shivering at the thought of her nightmare.

"It's okay." he told her softly. "We can go to my room." He offered and she nodded, suddenly noticing she was drenched with sweat.

"Can I take a shower?" She shivered.

"Yes, I'll wait here, alright?" He looked concerned and Kelsey nodded and slid her legs to the floor, standing up. She knew Ryan was watching her intently but she still felt so weak and helpless.

"Ryan?" She asked and he glanced at her. "Can you talk to me while I –?" She asked only half a question and he nodded. She padded to the bathroom slowly, carefully and before she entered she sent Ryan a hesitated glance. She closed the door behind her, waiting for him to start talking;

"I don't remember much of my childhood before I was with Diabolico…" he started and Kelsey took it as a sign to undress. She quickly discarded her somewhat wet clothes and stopped;

"…Dana at the playground near old house. A little later I remember Dad got me a bicycle…" She turned the taps on and tuned it to her favourite level of heat, she then stepped in the shower, right below the hot water stream, it felt great, the water washing the sweat and dirty feeling away. She quickly soaped and shampooed her hair.

"And I fell and knee bled a little, so after Dad bandaged my knee, Dana came and kissed the bandage..." His voice was making her feel much more at ease, safe, though it didn't help much in the dream, she knew Ryan would not let go without a decent fight. It wasn't in his nature. She rinsed the soap and shampoo out of her hair and stepped out of the shower, reaching for a towel and toweling off. Then she took another and dried her hair.

She stepped out of the bathroom, only a towel to her body.

"I can only vaguely remember the day Diabolico took me –"

Ryan stopped, staring; Kelsey blushed.

"Sorry, I didn't take any clothes." She apologized while reaching for her closet. One hand held the towel in place while the other roamed through the different clothes; once she had her pick: yellow tank top and short gray shorts, as well as underwear, she walked back to the bathroom, to get dressed.

"Ryan?" She asked when she hadn't heard him, a small fear sneaking into her heart.

"Oh, right." She heard him mutter. "I can just remember the way I felt, mostly sadness, anger and fear, but Diabolico was very nice considering…"

Kelsey quickly dressed and exited the bathroom, looking at Ryan hesitantly. He smiled at her, walking towards her and holding her, pressing her close to him. He was warm, which reassured Kelsey a little more, he wasn't cold or dead and she found herself closing her eyes, letting the feel of him take over her. When she felt herself again, restored, she opened her eyes and stared at him, he peered down at her and smiled.

"Shall we?" He asked and she nodded; he took her hand but then she stopped, remembering.

"Wait, I forgot to comb my hair." She muttered and Ryan smiled and touched her wet hair.

"I like it this way, come on." He pulled her hand lightly, making her smile and follow him out of her room. He walked first, still holding her hand, leading her to the far end of the corridor then turned right to see two doors, one in front of the other. He turned to the right and dialed a code on the small panel, then took the handle and opened the door, leaning against it.

"Come in." He invited with a smiled and she peeked in, noticing a crimson carpet all over the floor. The walls were Aquabase-gray and the light stronger than in her room, she liked it immediately and stepped inside, the room had his scent all over. She took another few steps inside, noticing a desk and a small library to her right and a large bed on her left. There was a click and she jumped.

"Just the door." Ryan said quietly from behind her.

She nodded, still looking around; everything looked so intriguing and new; tastefully and manly, scarce but unmissed, much like Ryan, actually. The thought made her smile and shake her head, suddenly noticing how close he was to her, standing behind her only millimeters separating them.

"You like?" Ryan whispered in her ear gently.

"Yes." She answered somewhat shyly and turned to look at him, he looked rather pleased with her response. She blushed slightly, still looking around curiously and he chuckled and went to sit on the bed, allowing her to roam around. Feeling very self aware, Kelsey gave the room a brief glance and then went to sit next to Ryan, leaning her head on his shoulder tiredly.

"I'm stealing your hours of sleep." She said darkly, guiltily.

"I'm giving them to you." He chuckled.

"I'm serious." She glanced into his eyes, they were warm, somehow. Liquid.

"Me, too." He smiled. "There's nothing I'd like more than being here with you tonight and every other night." She could tell he was being sincere and that touch a nerve, she wanted to scream just how much she loved him but stayed silent. Restraining herself. She rolled closer to him and despite her thoughts earlier that night, rested her head on his chest, her hands on both his sides.

"Thanks, you have no idea how much that means to me." She murmured to his chest, suddenly aware of his arms that slid around her, securing her to him.

"Tell me what you were dreaming of?" She squirmed uncomfortably; how could she tell him that she was horrified of the thought of losing him, especially when she loved him so much? It would hurt to lose a friend, it would hurt as hell to lose a good friend but it would literally _kill_ her to lose _him_.

"You were saying my name." He said after a while and she bit her bottom lip. "Tell me." He begged.

"I was in my room, reading a book and you were sleeping on the cover-bed you always make yourself. You looked – you were sleeping and then the snake burst in and I turned to wake you but…"

She gulped.

"But what?" He asked.

"You were cold and… and…" She couldn't complete her sentence, knowing he would understand and indeed, she felt his arms tightening around her immediately. He kissed his hair.

"I can't lose you, Ryan." She whimpered, pressing her forehead to his chest.

"I'll never let anyone separate us like that, Kelsey, _never_." He said in a low voice.

Kelsey nodded.

"You have no idea just how much you mean to me, Kelsey." He said and Kelsey couldn't help but silently cry at his words; it was him who had no idea how much he means to her. So much, and she couldn't say a single word about it.

"Kelsey…" Her name was a long whisper on his lips and she shivered; this love was torturing her from inside, how could she rehabilitate herself from Ryan when she needed him so much? It was impossible, she was doomed to have this conflict forever.

"Don't cry, little one," He murmured, his hands rubbing her back in calming circles. "Hush now, Love, sleep." His chest rumbled in a relaxing way and she nodded, pressing her lips together and allowing sleep take over. She never imagined she'd get used to him calling her like this.

*

It was strange to wake up, especially when her bed was a little lumpy. Opening her eyes she realized she has been sleeping on Ryan's chest, she carefully glanced up, almost afraid to find out he was awake.

He wasn't.

He was sleeping peacefully, his breaths tickling her face. He looked much alike to the Ryan in her nightmare; only the real Ryan looked less innocent and more serious in his sleep, as if he was having a discussion somewhere in Dreamland. Kelsey smiled and carefully disentangled herself from between her arms, hoping to pull the same stunt he has, a long time ago.

She stood on her feet and searched his desk for a piece of paper;

_Thank you for watching over me in my dreams._

She left it on the pillow near his head and motioned away but stopped herself, watching him for another moment; on a spur of the moment decision, she bent down gently and pressed her lips to his cheek. His skin was smooth despite a night's worth of stubble.

Kelsey smiled at his sleeping form and sneaked out of his room, hopping all the way to her room.

*

Later that morning Kelsey skated into the common room with a smile, her spirit lifted. It wasn't just the fact she didn't have to dread a confrontation with Ryan's bitchy girlfriend, it was just… happiness in its raw form: Ryan took her to his room. Ryan let her sleep all over him, held her through the rest of the night and in the morning, too. He didn't let go of her and was sweet, stubborn and comforting. His dedication and loyalty was amazing! He gave her so much confidence and excitement, even a little more courage. Just being with him, as innocent as it was, it was making her a better, positive person, it had to say something.

"Why so serious?" She noticed a stoic-faced Carter who was sitting to the table and reading the newspaper, his breakfast untouched.

"What?" He asked, his eyes leaving the paper and glancing at her. "Oh." He realized, folded the paper and put it aside, assaulting his granola cereal.

"You should take a better care of yourself, Carter." Kelsey told him quietly, gliding his way and putting a hand on his shoulder. "I'd hate to see Dana waking up and having a heart attack that would put her back into bed because you lost a lot of weight."

Carter said nothing, but Kelsey knew silence equals admittance and that Carter would never again skip a meal. He cared about Dana too much to even think of accidentally hurting her, being the perfect gentleman he was. Kelsey shook her head, suppressing a smile, Dana being injured was having a huge effect on her relationship with Carter and she didn't even know it! Dana was up to a couple of surprises when she's awake…

Skidding over to the kitchen, Kelsey stopped behind Chad who was making a horrible-smelling porridge. Kelsey wrinkled her nose in disgust but poked Chad's shoulder for attention.

"Oh, hey, Kels. What's up?" He asked, still frowning upon his porridge.

"Alright, want to come skating in the park with me later?" She offered hopefully, Chad looked apologized;

"Sorry, Kels, I have a date with Marina underwater today."

"Oh, well, I could always ask Joel."

"I – think he's busy." Chad shrugged. "Says today is the day Angela Fairweather is going to accept the fact they have a future together."

Kelsey and Chad both laughed at that.

"Yeah, probably not." Chad said after they calmed down. "But a man can hope." He winked. "I think this is done." He added, more likely to himself. Kelsey waited until he poured some sickly white dough-like liquid to his bowl and she rolled by until they've reached the table. That was when Joel came in, wearing a green button-on shirt and his lightspeed jacket hanging from his hand behind his back.

"Good morning, sunshines, today is the day!" He declared, making Kelsey, Chad and Carter burst out laughing.

"What day?" Kelsey played innocent and Joel took the opportunity to walk in front of them as if on a fashion show.

"The day Sweet Angela Fairweather is going to agree to go out with me, _finally_." He stated, full of self importance. Chad snorted and the three rangers laughed.

"What? Don't you believe me?!" Joel looked insulted.

"Sure we do, Joel." Carter said sternly.

"If she accepts your offer, I expect pigs to fly." Chad snickered and Kelsey slapped the back of his head.

"Don't bust his mood, Chad!" She amended, then glanced at Joel. "Go get the girl, Joel." She smiled encouragingly at him.

"Thank you." He bowed. "Speaking of getting a girl, did you get your _boy_ yet, Kelsey?" Three sets of eyes peered at her curiously, she blushed.

"Err… no." she shrugged. "Some things are not meant to be, you guys. I realized I should stop hoping and forget about that, we can't be nothing more than friends." She sighed.

"He doesn't know what he's missing." Chad patted her back.

"I never thought I'd say this, but Ryan's a complete fool." Carter added.

"I agree." Joel said with a frown. "How blind can he be? Honest, he's so stupid that it actually borders idiocy –"

"Who is?" Ryan's voice asked innocently from the door as he entered lightly.

"Forget it." Joel sighed. "Are you going rollerblading with Kelsey today? Neither of us can." Kelsey gave Joel a look and he smirked at her.

"I haven't realized Kelsey needs babysitting." Ryan said as he grabbed an apple from the table. "But if she invites me to go with her – I might go." He took a bite and Kelsey rolled her eyes.

"I'm surrounded by idiots." She notified them. "That's why I miss Dana." She added in for a good measure. "Ryan, I hereby invite you to come rollerblading with me. Shall you?" She asked, trying to sound as archaic as possible.

"I shall," Ryan smirked and shrugged, "but it has to be in an hour because I have a video conversation with Lyri."

"Okay, how about I go and you join if you can catch me?" She offered, a little insulted; why was he so tied up to Illyria? What did Illyria have that she lacked?

"Fine, I guess." Ryan shrugged. "Well, I need to go." He said and walked out of the common room, making Kelsey lose her breeze. Maybe that morning wasn't so great after all…

* * *

**A/N:** Last chapter I forgot to say the song My World belongs to Avril Lavinge. Oh, well, I hope she forgives me for not acknowledging her… Sorry, Avs. **R**eview!


	15. Chapter 15

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Fifteen:**

One Illyria-less week was gone and the last one had started, Kelsey noted while waking up in Ryan's room on a bright Sunday morning. Frowning at his absence she sat up only to see a small note near her:

_Get your rock climbing equipment and some clothes, see you at the common room._

Surprised, Kelsey smiled and jumped out of bed, quickly folding the covers before bolting to her room. Once inside, she grabbed her favourite climbing clothes and stuffed them excitedly into her climbing backpack where all the ropes and straps were as well as some camping equipment like a Swiss knife and a portable gas. Then, she hopped to the shower, making a new record of the fastest shower ever taken, toweled off, got dressed, grabbed her backpack and sped out of her room to the common room.

"Guys?" Kelsey peeked into the room which looked deserted but strangely altered; there were balloons everywhere, pizza on the table – but no one was there. Were they doing a party and not inviting her? Because if they are, they're in _a lot_ of troubles. She stepped inside, glancing around and recognizing popcorn and some doughnuts which were Carter's biggest no-no, on the coffee table.

Hmm…

She turned around when she heard laughter coming closer and closer, until Joel, Chad and Carter were about to step into the common room. They froze when they saw her;

"Err… Kelsey, what are you doing here?" Chad was the first to respond to her presence.

"Breakfast?" She raised her eyebrows.

"We need Ryan…" She heard Carter muttering before he took off, probably to wherever Ryan's at.

"So, what, were you guys planning a party without me?" She frowned, insulted. Joel rubbed the back of his head, she could tell he was embarrassed and totally _busted_.

"Well, no." Chad answered after a moment of silence.

"So what's this all about?" She gestured on the balloons, the food… the Happy Birthday signs.

Happy Birthday signs? Whose birthday was it?

Oh, right.

Damn.

Hell.

How embarrassing.

Well, she better make the best of it.

"Are you guys… celebrating something?" She played innocent, trying to keep her face in a sad expression.

"I suppose you can say that." Joel shrugged, Chad elbowed him.

"When did you wake up?" Chad asked.

"About thirty minutes ago –"

Carter and Ryan appeared in front of her, slightly panting but pretending not to have run. Kelsey had to fight the smirk.

"So, were you going to tell me about this party thing or you were just trying to surprise me 'cause it's my birthday and I haven't realized it until a few minutes ago?" She asked, watching Chad and Joel's face turn colour, confused, and Carter's slightly frightened expression. She knew she sounded a little angry, but it was worth their stunned faces. She started laughing, pointing at them.

"Gotcha." She grinned, noticing how Ryan was the only one to appear amused;

"Thanks, guys." She smiled and jumped into Joel and Chad's arms.

"We love you, Kels." Chad.

"You're the best." Joel. Then she pulled back and turned to Carter, holding him for a short minute. He smiled at her and patted her back awkwardly.

"Happy nineteenth." He smiled at her, Kelsey smiled back.

"Thanks, Carter."

And lastly, she turned to Ryan's arms.

"Happy Birthday, little one." He whispered to her ear, for a small moment leaning his chin on her head, sighing.

"I'm not little." She shot him a glare. "I'm Nineteen." She added with a notion of self importance. Ryan chuckled and gently slid his arms from around her.

"You're tiny." He smiled before glancing behind her, causing her to turn around and see Chad, Joel and Carter staring a little, puzzled. Kelsey rested her forehead on his chest for a moment, stealing another close-contact minute and storing it in her memory. She knew things couldn't last forever, what they've shared, these nights of horror and mornings of pure relief – it would fade away soon.

"So, who's in for some breakfast cake?" She heard Carter saying quickly, turning around she could see him elbowing Chad. She shook her head slightly.

"Yes! Who wants cake?" Chad repeated, rushing to the kitchen. He came back with a huge chocolate cake with whipped cream and cherries.

"Joel forgot to buy candles so you'll have to do without." Chad looked apologized but Kelsey smiled, chuckling slightly.

"It's okay, guys, I got almost everything I want… you know what I wish for." She sighed.

What did she wish for? Dana to wake up or Ryan to be hers?

Both. Probably, both.

"Go get a taste of your cake, Birthday Girl." Ryan chuckled and pulled back his arms, letting her go. She wanted to be held by him forever, but she also had to be real and cooperate: her friends worked hard for thing attempt to make her happy, she should least reward them with giving attention to their hard work.

Chad handed her a knife and Kelsey smiled, about to cut the cake, Joel stopped her;

"Wait! Pose a photo! It's for Dana when she wakes up!" He rushed and Kelsey nodded and posed; smiling at the camera and cutting the cake slowly. Joel snapped a few shots and then turned to hunt Ryan, while Kelsey with the help of Chad started to give out cake to everyone.

"Pizza first!" Joel denied the cake and reached for a slice of pizza. Kelsey laughed and fed herself a spoonful of cake, mesmerized at the sweetness of the cake. She landed on the sofa with a small thud where she happily continued to consume her cake. Chad and Carter were arguing about something and Joel was busy videotaping them _for Dana_, to his claim. Kelsey smiled at herself, it seems nothing changed, except for the time. And Dana.

A prickling sensation made her uncomfortable and she looked around, searching for anything that would be a threat. She found Ryan staring. She smiled at him and returned to her cake, her smile turning a little sad; oh, why can't she get rid of that obsessed feeling? Of being possessed by his presence? It was a bit weighing on her mental health!

She felt the sofa sinking next to her.

"I think it's presents' time." Ryan said loud enough for the other three guys to come over as well.

"Mine first!" Chad said quickly, disappeared in the kitchen and then came back handing her a wrapped present, by the touch of it, it was likely to be a book. She smiled and tore the wrapping paper, revealing the next book in the series of books she was reading. She squealed, putting the cake and book aside and jumping on Chad.

"Thanks!" She exclaimed and Chad laughed.

"You're welcome, Kels, my pleasure." He nodded.

Carter cleared his throat.

Kelsey turned to him with a smile and raised eyebrows.

"Yes, Carter?" She tried not to laugh. Carter pulled a small envelope from his pocket and handed it to her, she took it, gently opening the envelope to reveal a gift card to her favourite X-Games store.

She gaped.

"Wow, Carter, Wow." She said and jumped on him, hugging him a well.

"Thank you! This is huge, I need to sit down." She exclaimed excitedly, sitting down on the sofa, trying to appear calm again.

"Well, my present." Joel said and bent on his knees, pulling a large box from under the coffee table.

"Didn't see that coming, eh?" Joel laughed and put the large box in her lap.

"Happy Birthday, Kels." Joel grinned, Kelsey nodded with a smile and opened the large, white box to reveal a pair of sparkling new Rollerblade Solo Tribe Skates.

"Arrgh!!!" Kelsey shouted and jumped on her feet. "You're kidding! You're kidding! You're kidding! You got me Rollerblade Solo Tribe Skates! Oh my god!" She squealed.

"Ha, told you my present was the best." Joel shot a cocky grin to the other guys who were all very amused, watching as Kelsey started mumbling to herself. Then she snapped back to reality and she looked at Joel and put the skates aside, she hugged Joel.

"Thank you, Joel! You have no idea, I've been saving up for these for ages!" She blushed a little. "They cost a fortune, how could you?" She was shocked at the sacrifice Joel probably had to make to get her these skates.

"I have my way, Kels, enjoy your new 'blades for me, okay?" He smiled and Kelsey hugged him.

Ryan cleared his throat and Kelsey pulled back from Joel and stared at him curiously.

"Ready to go?" Was all he said and Kelsey smiled and nodded.

"I'll put them in your room for you." Chad said quickly, collecting the gift card, the book and the rollerblades.

"Thanks, guys, you're awesome!" She smiled at them, excited and grateful for having such great friends.

"You're welcome, Kels. Have fun today." Joel said and winked at her, making her blush.

"Let's go." Kelsey smiled at Ryan who grinned and held up her backpack.

"Have fun, Kelsey." Carter said while she followed Ryan to the exit.

"Yeah! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Chad called and Kelsey rolled her eyes; she realized Ryan and her are going Rock Climbing, the question was – where?

"Hey, Ryan?"

"Yes?" He answered as they entered the parking area of the Rescue Rovers.

"Where are we going?" She asked, frowning slightly as he put her backpack in the back seat of one Rover and jumped to the driver's seat. She joined him at the passenger seat, waiting for an answer.

"Stone Canyon, there's this really great spot you'd like. We're going to spend there the next forty eight hours." He smiled at her and started the car, coolly making their way to the exit of the Aquabase and to Stone Canyon.

* * *

**A/N:** Happy Birthday, Kelsey! I thought this was pretty random, but it fit in. They _forced_ me to that climbing trip, so they were punished later… *shrug*. Huh, what is it? _Kissing_ next chapter?! You must be mistaken... *cough* **R**eview!

Oh and about last chapter's ending, well, Kelsey went skating but I think she made sure Ryan couldn't follow her so she could be alone. The Illyria thing made her want to be alone.


	16. Chapter 16

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Sixteen:**

Kelsey noted to herself that the almost-silent ride Stone Canyon was not unpleasant. The silence was disturbed once when Ryan asked her if she's cold, since she was wearing a tank top and the Rover was at full speed, making the wind harsher than usual. She said she wasn't cold. Later, Ryan stopped the Rover in the middle of nowhere, a desert. Everything was reddish-yellowish-brownish and still it made her gasp at the amazing view; at the prospect of the two of them, together, like first two people on Earth. She jumped down from the Rover, taking a few steps and scanning her surroundings, everything was so beautiful and wild…

"You like?" Ryan's voice came from behind her, Kelsey turned to look at him, he was smiling, a few inches away.

Kelsey nodded furiously.

"Everything here is just…amazing." She was incapable of tearing her eyes out of the bluest skies she's ever seen and the amazing land that laid beneath her feet. She was also incapable of thinking of any other words rather than 'amazing' to describe the scenery.

"I used to come here a lot, especially when I needed to think back when…" he stopped, letting the words roll off between the two of them. When he was evil.

She understood.

"Have you been here since you joined Lightspeed?" She heard herself asking, but then blush; it was too personal a question, she stole a glance his way and he was looking at the skies, mesmerized.

"Once." He admitted. "When I left… I've been here at the beginning and then, when I returned to civilization in Angel Grove, I met Illyria." He shrugged. "Everything worked out in the end."

"Do you love Illyria?" Kelsey couldn't stop herself and mentally beat herself up at the rudeness and impoliteness of such a question.

"Love is a strong word." That was all he said before taking her hand and leading her back to the Rover. "We have a few more miles to kill, come on." He smiled and climbed on the Rover, not bothering to open the door. Kelsey laughed, shaking her head and entering the passenger seat.

"Can't you do things the normal way?" She teased.

"With normal being the essence of ranger life?" He raised an eyebrow and Kelsey grinned and shrugged.

"Just drive." She rolled her eyes, making him laugh.

*

"So where are we going?" Kelsey interrupted a straight hour of silence. Ryan glanced at her, his eyes catching hers for a second, he smiled.

"We're almost there." He reassured her, his eyes far in the horizon.

Kelsey sighed.

"Remind me why I've agreed for you kidnapping me again?"

"I'm taking you for some high-adrenalin Mountain climbing or would you rather we go back home?" He gave her a pointed look, looking slightly annoyed as his eyes narrowed and focused on her. Kelsey couldn't help but blush at his annoyance, it wasn't her fault he was silent and broody! She was an energy bomb just waiting to explode and he's been keeping her in the small Rover for eternity. She gave him a disgruntled glare and shrugged; making a point to look away from him.

He stopped the car suddenly, making her body jerk slightly forward and then back at her seat.

"Do you mind telling me what's wrong?" He half growled, definitely angry now.

"Nothing."

"Look at me, Kelsey." He ordered and when she refused he took a hold of her chin and made her look at him. "What's wrong with you? Why am I walking on eggshells with you the entire morning?" He demanded.

"Walking on eggshells?!" She snorted.

"Yes! First, you're asking me strange questions and now you're looking at me like you don't want to be here." He frowned, his livid chocolate eyes clouding with hurt.

"I don't understand you, Ryan." Kelsey said truthfully, biting her bottom lip. She couldn't understand how he chooses to spend forty-something hours with her on some remote place while keeping a girlfriend. How can he have both ends of the same rope?

"There is something that is bothering you since we argued last week." He stated.

"Yes. I guess there is." She stated calmly.

"What is it?" He asked impatiently, a tinge of curiosity molded into it.

"How can you be so blind?" She couldn't take his willful blindness, faked innocence, anymore. There's no way he could miss her feelings for him. Didn't she make it so obvious? She _couldn't_ confess! Why did he have to make everything just so difficult?

"Blind? Just tell me!" He growled, he seemed to feed on her feelings, too; she felt so frustrated, so angry and he was too, like he was shooting at her what she couldn't express to him.

"I can't." She gulped. "Just take me back to the Aquabase." She added in a whisper. She knew she was hurting him, that she was rejecting him and his gift to her, but this… well, it couldn't work anymore. It was weighing on her, she was obsessed, but it was time for rehab. She needed to think about herself, for once!

He snarled.

"I won't, not until you tell me." His eyes spat fire.

"You will. You can't force me to stay here, Ryan Mitchell!" She demanded, her eyes as intimidating as his were.

"I will, I swear, Kelsey, you're going to tell me what I'm missing." He challenged and Kelsey gritted her teeth and opened the door to the Rover and jumped down. She started walking back, anger flooding her to the point of wanting to scream but she couldn't show Ryan Mitchell how angry he's made her. How hurt.

Until he grabbed her arm and pulled her close to him, so close that his breaths tickled her face.

"Tell me." He said through gritted teeth.

"Forget it." She spat.

He kissed her.

The kiss was passionate, angry, and the world spun around Kelsey for as long as it lasted. It felt… amazing and so _right_, like everything just fell into place. But it was wrong. It took her about ten seconds to realize she's kissing a taken man and she pushed him back, tears stinging her eyes. It was humiliating, painful and everything she has ever wanted all in the same kiss. Being a ranger meant doing everything the _right_ way and this wasn't right, it wasn't even just. Did he expect her to be some scarlet woman? A replacement to Illyria when she wasn't around?

"Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"You're my best friend."

"This kiss… this isn't 'best friends' material, okay?" She paused for a moment, letting it sink. Seconds ticked and it still didn't seem like he understood it. She watched him in silence, his chest was heaving slightly and his eyes worried, but she couldn't bring herself to explain what was so obvious.

"Just… stay away, Ryan. Stay away from me." She barely noticed the tremor in her voice or the single tear that made its way down her cheek. But Ryan was never one to just accept things, he needed to know why, and when he took a step forward, toward her, she shook her head and started to run away, unable to calm down as her tears welled up. Running, she realized that this was her limit, the edge of her ability to be a best friend to him or a friend at all, the man she truly loved. Her burden was weighing on her far too long and far too heavy for her to not feel like a hypocrite when he called her his best friend. Deep down, she was sure, even Ryan had to understand that they were anything but.

This wasn't about him anymore, it was about her: _she_ didn't want to live a lie, _she _didn't want to have to tell him that nothing is standing between them when in reality – there was more than just friendship floating between them. She was tired of hiding the truth, to smile, nod and pretend to be okay when every time she saw Ryan with Illyria, everything just _hurt_. Maybe hurt was too weak a word, maybe it was _burn_ because with every day that passed and Ryan was still holding on to Illyria, she felt like her soul was on fire, the smoke choking her entire being.

She looked back, only seeing yellowish-brown mountains and soil… suddenly it wasn't as beautiful as before. She gulped and stopped a moment, when she was sure she couldn't see him, she morphed and called for her Lightspeed Cycle.

Two hours later and the Aquabase's dark corridors welcomed her inside with their definite coolness. Luckily, there was no sign of Ryan or any of the others and Kelsey made her way to her room, only stopping once, at the entrance, to change the code to her room. When she entered she shut the door behind her and buried her face in her pillow.

This has got to be the worst birthday in the world.

* * *

**A/N:** When I wrote this piece, I remember I thought it was going rather well, until she managed to piss him off. Then I couldn't control the titanium freak, he did what he wanted which made her frustrated and this is how the end begins;) four more chapters and an epilogue, though I don't understand why this story needs an epilogue. Especially as boring a piece like I have. But oh, well.


	17. Chapter 17

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Seventeen:**

She spent two full days in her room, crying and mourning her bad luck in love; she hadn't answered when Carter or Joel knocked, not even when Chad threatened to break down the door. Then there were the silent knocks, Ryan's, she could feel his anguish from her place on her bed, but there was nothing she could do. She had to put some distance between Ryan and herself, she had to stop loving him and heal the wounds he has caused her.

She needed Dana.

Dana would know what to do, but Dana wasn't even awake, let alone giving advice. Kelsey rubbed off her tears, ignoring the rumble from her stomach and the yawn that threatened to swallow her room. She hadn't slept in two days: she was afraid to. She needed Ryan's presence, to know that when she wakes up, he would be there to calm her down, reassure her and just be there. She didn't want to wake up in terror and realize she was alone to deal with her nightmares.

But not even a yellow ranger could stop the slumber that crept upon those who cry without stopping.

*

She was in the desert, a harsh sun melting her skin and drying her throat. She was walking alone, but she was looking for something, undefined, unsure. She started to run for no apparent reason, it just _felt_ right but she came into a halt right in front of a cliff, a huge canyon was beneath her. A hiss made her jump and she turned around, scared to death, to face the familiar evil – the huge, black snake that meant her death. She turned to look at the canyon, hoping to see a stream or something to hold onto, but when she realized there was nothing, she turned to see the snake, hissing its way to her. 

_She closed her eyes and jumped, falling down to the stream…_

She fell on her bed, slick with sweat and tears, her shout muffled by the pillow. Scared, she stood up, her legs shaking beneath her while she made her way, slowly, to her bathroom for a quick shower.

She needed to talk to someone. Chad, Joel, Carter, Captain Mitchell… anyone.

It couldn't go on.

She quickly took a shower and dressed, not bothering with shoes, and made her way to the common room. It was midday and the other rangers should be at lunch. She heard them talking quietly from the corridor, whispering her name and Ryan's. She stopped, taking a deep breath and entering the common room to see Joel, Carter and Chad talking, Ryan was sitting near them, playing with his food.

"Kelsey!" Chad immediately got up and ran to her, hugging her. "Are you alright? You look sick! Carter, get her a plate." He said worriedly.

"I'm fine." But even Kelsey herself didn't believe it.

"You're pale and there are bags under your eyes and –"

"I have trouble sleeping." She said quietly, avoiding looking at Ryan, but that made Chad look even more worried.

"You should go to the infirmary, Kels, right after I feed you." He informed her, Carter nodded and offered her a loaded plate. She denied the food and settled for a glass of water.

"I'll be fine." She told them. "I'll go check on Dana now, if you don't mind." She added and made her way to the infirmary quickly, before anyone could force her to eat or make her go to see Miss Fairweather.

*

"I love him, you know?" She told Dana bitterly. "I just don't understand how can he miss it, I-I did everything I could. I loved him for so long, Dana, since I first talked to him and now…" she sniffed. "Well, he has Illyria and I…" her voice broke completely.

There were a few long moments of sniffs and pondering.

"We kissed on my birthday." Kelsey confided in her sleeping friend, while smiling a tearful smile. "It was so great… I never thought a kiss would be so…" She stopped, rubbing her tears off, restraining that hope and happiness that welled inside her whenever she thought of that kiss she shared with Ryan.

He has Illyria.

"I can't play this game anymore, how can I explain this to him without – without telling him the truth? He needs to choose and he doesn't even realize it." Kelsey bit her bottom lip.

"Do you think I should leave?" She asked, the question hanging in the air.

Ashamed at her thought, Kelsey fled back to her room.

*

She stopped in front of her door, finding it wide open; frowning, she took a few quiet steps into her room, stealthily laying against the door. She saw someone going through her things: opening her drawers, searching through her books…

"What are you doing here, Illyria?" She snapped, causing Illyria to jump. Kelsey didn't even try to hide her dislike for her anymore, it was _Illyria_'s fault she's in the present position and besides, what was she doing in her room, anyway?!

"Hi, Kelsey." Illyria said in a slippery voice. "I came back yesterday, you see, Ryan called and told me he needed me."

Another blow. Kelsey grimaced and decided to ignore.

"What are you doing in my room, Illyria?!" Kelsey demanded; how did a civilian enter a highly secured room? One she changed the code to only two days ago? How was that possible? What were the odds?

"Well, Ryan was very hurt by the way you behaved toward him and he asked me to check on you –"

"Who gave you the right to barge in my room and go through my things?" The entire situation was illogical, Illyria coming to 'check on her' while breaking into her room. Right.

Illyria smiled tauntingly, Kelsey rolled her eyes.

"How did you break into my room?" Losing it, Kelsey half shouted.

"No need to yell, Kelsey, really." Illyria scolded, Kelsey felt her entire body freeze and then on the fire of her fury. "I found some interesting notes in your drawer, you see." Illyria smiled emptily, almost snake-like, she waved a few pieces of paper in front of her face.

Kelsey paled.

They were Ryan's notes. The ones he wrote her after spending nights in her room, fighting with his nightmares.

Kelsey gulped.

"They mean nothing." She defended immediately, trying to keep a calm expression. "Now, get out of my room." She snapped.

"Kelsey, Kelsey, Kelsey, if I didn't know any better I'd think you have _feelings_ for _my_ Ryan." Illyria stated.

"He's not yours. Leave here, Illyria!"

"Or what?"

"I'll _make_ you leave!" Kelsey couldn't control her temper. "You aren't allowed in here." She growled.

"I'll say this once, Kelsey, Ryan Mitchell is mine to have. Those feelings you think you have for him while keeping his notes like some twelve years old? Lame! It's just a schoolgirl crush, I assure you." Her voice turned silkily again.

"Are you even listening to me?" Kelsey asked, trying hard to ignore Illyria. "Get. Out."

"I can make your life a living nightmare, Kelsey Winslow, and I promise I will if you don't behave." Illyria sneered as she rose on her long feet.

"Is that a threat?" Kelsey snorted.

"Yes." Illyria said lightly and crossed the room, walking to the door.

"Give me my notes back." Kelsey growled, beyond annoyed.

"Oh, I don't think so." Illyria smirked evilly and sprinted out of Kelsey's room.

Kelsey followed. She made it a point not to run after Illyria. She wished she wouldn't have found her in her room, it was just another thing that would complicate everything between Ryan and herself. How could she explain the notes to Ryan? Illyria has run off waving them in front of her in glee. What would Ryan say? What would he think of her? Double standards woman? And she'll deserve it because she hasn't told him even when he asked, he kept asking and she kept denying there was anything.

It was foolish; Ryan was her friend, surely it wouldn't mean a single thing to him. Friends keep mementos from other friends, right?

She wasn't so sure.

Shaking off her bad energies, she walked to the common room – maybe she _should_ explain, but not to Ryan. To Joel, Chad and Carter. They would know what to do. She froze at the entrance to the common room, the sight in front of her shocking.

There, in the common room, stood Illyria shaking with every gasp she took, seemingly crying and seeking comfort in Ryan's arms. He was murmuring words of comfort in her ears, words that sounded so familiar: of protection and calm. Was everything the same to him? Was she – and Illyria – the same?

"Kelsey." He said her name in a near bark; he has never behaved this way toward her.

"Ryan." She replied coolly. There was silence again, only interrupted by Illyria's small gasps for air. Kelsey waited to hear what Illyria told Ryan, what was she accused of.

"Ry…" Illyria's voice sounded broken, fearful, even.

He snapped; a look of cold fury graced his face.

"We might have fought but you shouldn't have said those things. I thought you were my friend, my _best_ friend! And then you go and hurt Illyria like –"

"She broke into my room." Kelsey said through clenched teeth, the guys gasped.

"Nonsense." Ryan said degradingly. "_I_ tried to break into your room more than once in the last two days and failed. Why would Illyria succeed?"

"Because she's tried before." That, Kelsey had to admit, was a guess, but didn't she saw Illyria snooping around her room once?

The guys gasped again.

"Did she?" Ryan sounded doubtful and Kelsey frowned.

"I don't know what she told you, but when I came into my room after visiting Dana – she was there and going through my stuff!"

"You know that's not true! You told me there was something you wanted to show me and showed me those notes!" Illyria yelled in a high pitched voice, Kelsey frowned.

"Why would I show you those notes? _My_ notes."

That was a mistake. Illyria's reply was unmissable –

"Because you love Ryan."

Kelsey froze for a moment, then shrugged uneasily.

"Why would that be a problem? We're friends." She lifted her eyes to meet Ryan's, he looked puzzled as well. Maybe he started to believe her.

"No." Illyria said harshly and pushed herself away from Ryan, walking toward Kelsey in slick steps. "You love Ryan not in a best friend way and you want me out of here so you can have him all for yourself."

Ryan looked horrified and enlightened in the same time; his eyes were wide and his face conveyed surprise but also, understanding. His features softened slowly and he put his hand on Illyria's shoulder, trying to calm her down.

"No, Ryan, you should hear the truth." Illyria shrugged off his hand and took a step forward.

"Yes, you should, which brings the question: How did you manage to enter my room?" Kelsey shot at Illyria, who looked hurt by the accusation.

"You let me inside!!" Illyria yelled in protest, tears sliding down her cheeks. Ryan, ever the gentleman, took her in his arms, trying to calm her down.

"Considering you were everything but nice toward me, I highly doubt the fact I'd want you in my room." Kelsey shot. "You went through my stuff, those notes were stashed in my nightstand. Admit it, Illyria." She pressed, watching Ryan frowning and tightening his arms around Illyria who gave her another smug smirk from between Ryan's strong arms.

"I didn't! Why don't you tell them why you kept those! Because you love Ryan! Because you want him!" Illyria blamed and Kelsey gulped; by looking at her friends who were nodding at her, she knew they believed her, but Ryan… Ryan was still angry and hurt.

It was her fault that he was hurt, she was so out of line the other day… but this wasn't her fault! How could she keep her emotions under tight wraps all the time? How long did everyone believe she could see Ryan and Illyria together and not to burst? To keep being his best friend and eat her heart out when she sees him with Illyria? Is that how everyone expected her to act? To suffer quietly?

"Do you believe her?" She glanced at Ryan, her eyes begging, it was the final test. Will he stick with her, like a best friend is supposed to be? Or will he choose his path with Illyria's?

Ryan looked down at Illyria, then at his feet.

"I don't know what to believe anymore."

And this was her answer. She will not keep living a lie, to make everyone happy whilst being unhappy – was that fair?

No.

She had enough of this way of life.

Stamping her foot on the floor, she took a step forward, raising her chin and looking in Ryan's eyes.

"I'm so tired of playing this game, so I'll tell you the truth you're longing to hear." She admitted.

She took a deep breath, not caring of Ryan's confused expression.

"I love you." She shrugged, the truth didn't seem so scary now, that she didn't give a damn about his reaction. "Really love you, take it as you will."

She pondered for a moment while the silence became heavier; even Illyria was shocked.

"The fact is that you're… I'm not your best friend."

"You are." He insisted.

"Why? Because I was there for your nightmares?"

He nodded.

"You were there for mine, so consider the debt paid and us through. I don't want to be your friend if you can't believe me. You've known me longer than… saying you're my best friend doesn't make it true – acting like one and knowing me does." She explained and then frowned and took a step back.

"I just don't want to be near you anymore, Ryan, it's too much to handle." She turned around to Chad, Joel and Carter, feeling heavenly relieved. Chad immediately walked to her and hugged her.

"You're the bravest person I know." He whispered to her ear and she smiled and pulled back.

"I'm going to see Dana, okay?" She whispered back and Chad nodded and let her go. She gave one last glance at Ryan who still looked as if he was in his earlier state of mind, holding Illyria stubbornly.

Kelsey walked out of the door and straight to Captain's Mitchell office, not in the slightest really meaning to go and see Dana. She knew what would be the smart thing to do in order to try and save the last piece of herself that wasn't destroyed in front of everyone's eyes by Illyria. She knocked once and entered, Captain Mitchell was reading some pages and put them down when she came in.

"Hi, Captain Mitchell, I… um… I've had enough." And with that she took off the strap that connected the morpher to her wrist.

He frowned.

"Why the sudden change?" He asked, ever the serious commander.

"Ryan. And when Dana was injured… I just can't bear being here anymore. I'm sorry." She gently put the device on the wooden desk and took a step back.

"I'll take my things and you can have the other things given or something. Thank you for giving me the chance to be a Power Ranger." She said soberly and he nodded and stood up, offering her his hand.

"This morpher will wait for you, Kelsey, but in the meantime, good luck." He said courtly, shaking her hand and allowing her to go. She rushed to her room, took her unpacked climbing backpack, and thrown in a few good books, an old photo of the six Lightspeed Rangers from even before Ryan left and she sighed; This was it. The end.

She exited her room, locking the door in the final time and made her way out of the Aquabase.

* * *

**A/N:** Yes, I know, pretty long. Four chapters to go :O. **R**eview!


	18. Chapter 18

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Eighteen:**

Moving on was the only thing on her mind, while Kelsey Winslow unpacked in the small room she managed to rent in central Mariner Bay. If only Dana could see her now… She tried not to think of any of them, but it was hard: for such a long time rangering was everything in her world and now she had nothing, not even friends; she couldn't contact her friends because she knew Ryan by now and she knew he would come and beg and she'd give in to him. She couldn't let herself surrender to his wants again and she couldn't trust herself enough with him.

She loved him, yes, but she had to learn to live without him.

To be normal.

She had to keep on moving with life, she'd get over her feelings at some point – she had to. And then, maybe, she could look back and smile at the experience though she highly doubted it; it hurt her, it burned a hole in her heart that he believed Illyria and not her. She wanted to shout at him and tell him just how stupid he is, how could he believe someone he knew for such a short period of time? Forget it, how could he believe anyone's word against his best friend's word?

He didn't know what best friend meant.

Otherwise how could he kiss her so passionately and pretend they're just friends? How could he call her 'my angel' and 'my love' when he thought she didn't hear and call her his best friend in the same breath?

He made her hurt and he didn't even know it; with every word, every hug and that kiss… that one kiss that meant everything to her and to him, nothing at all. He tore her apart, one half was loving him and wanting to give in to passion whereas the other was angry and ethical: he had a girlfriend. Best friends don't kiss or touch or call each other in lovers' names. He put her in a position that confused her and she knew that and still, she couldn't' tell him.

He was more than a friend and not a real best friend, which meant she couldn't tell him _everything_ like he wanted her to.

She missed him already.

How terrible was that, huh? She _missed_ him and it hasn't been six hours yet.

Pathetic. Hypocritical, even.

But it was nighttime now and she was afraid to close her eyes. Afraid to sleep because he wasn't there to watch over her and to reassure her that no matter how hideous her dream would be, he'd still be there to hold her and tell her that everything's alright, that it was just a bad dream. That he was real. Tonight he wouldn't be sleeping in the cover bed beside her bed and he wouldn't hold her hand so she wouldn't be afraid.

Did he even think of her?

Was he lying in his own bed now, looking at the ceiling and missing her? Or was he holding Illyria close, holding onto her while he let his eyes rest?

"Why am I even thinking about this?" she was beating herself up for nothing.

Ryan meant nothing. He didn't help her fight against the nightmares; he was only there to calm her down when she woke up, screaming and crying. It could have been anyone else. She should stop being silly, to brace herself and allow herself to fall asleep – tomorrow was a busy day: she had to find a job and call Chad, he'd kill her but… it's all for the best.

Or is it?

*

"Kelsey, where in all hell are you?!" She had to put the phone away from her ear for a moment. It was strange: she never heard Chad yelling before, but it only made her shrug.

"Don't worry, Chad." She said quietly, trying to sound controlled.

"Worry? Worry?!" Chad was losing his temper again. "When Joel, Carter and I came to your room we found it empty of all things Kelsey! You didn't even tell us! _Us_!"

"What good would it have done?"

"Peace of mind."

"You know as well as I do that you wouldn't have let me go."

"Precisely, you wouldn't have gone and Ryan and Illyria would have been taken care of!"

"It's too much for me to bear, Chad, please understand that." She begged.

"You're not my friend Kelsey, you're a coward. My Kelsey wouldn't have given up." He sounded so disappointed, tears sprung in Kelsey's eyes and she sniffed.

"You know what? Maybe I am. Maybe I'm the world's biggest coward but I'm just so sick of just standing there while pretending everything is alright!" She paused, Chad was silent.

"Nothing it alright as far as I'm concerned, Chad! Ryan is with Illyria, Dana is still in coma no matter how much we try and delude ourselves that she's only sleeping…" She choked on her words for a moment, she took a deep breath, closing her tired eyes.

"I'm just sick of lying to myself and I decided I won't anymore." She whispered.

The line was silent on the other end.

"Chad?"

"Kelsey, just come back home, Kid." It was Joel's voice, softer without his usual rough edge.

"I can't. I'll be fine, I'm going to find a job and –"

"Come on, Kels, will you really go and work in some boring job? You're not like that. I miss you, _please_."

"I'm sorry, Joel." She said in a small voice.

"Kelsey, you just can't walk out of your duty." Carter's voice was pretty stern, a little harsh. Maybe he was disappointed in her, too.

"I already have." She shrugged but his silence was annoying, arrogant in a way, even. "You know I would never ditch my duty unless it made things worse rather than improve them." She added carefully.

"Take care of yourself, okay? Call us if you need anything." Carter sighed.

"I'll be okay."

"Do you _promise_ to call us if you need anything?" Chad's voice interrogated and Kelsey rolled her eyes.

"_Yes_, I promise." She snapped. "Now I have to go, I have a job to find."

"Remember to call us –" Chad started.

"Take care, Kels!" Joel yelled.

"Don't get into trouble and –" Carter felt the need to add.

"Be good, okay?" Chad completed his sentence.

Kelsey sighed loudly into the phone, making the three guys moan at the noise.

"_Bye_, guys." She shut the phone and made her way to Mariner Bay's Promenade, hoping to find a restaurant that would need a former ranger worker.

At least she didn't think of Ryan.

* * *

**A/N:** Sorry about this piece being bit late – last minute changes to this chapter. **R**eview!


	19. Chapter 19

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Nineteen:**

Nancy's in the Park was the café Kelsey found a job at. Mind you, she had no idea who Nancy was. Surprisingly or not, the place was located near Mariner Bay's Park and in the sunny days was completely packed with people, especially on Sunday mornings. Kelsey enjoyed the sun-filled mornings around people, Grant – the host and the man in charge most of the time, always welcomed her with a smile and even allowed her to bring her rollerblades. Kelsey couldn't thank him enough for giving her the opportunity to exercise her skating skill while earning her money.

Kelsey had to admit she loved working in Nancy's; she loved the dynamics, the connection with people; she might not save them physically, but she could give them something else – a good time. She liked making people smile, it was a nice change; she had to admit to herself that it was so on-the-edge and extreme-like, but it could be as much as satisfying.

Today, Kelsey was busy, skating from one edge of the café to the other edge, carrying trays filled with glasses, plates, checks and change. She liked being busy at worked, that way she feel the time passing by. She had been working all morning, crazy but with a large smile on her face. It was sort of a rush hour on a Sunday morning, people coming in for a cup of coffee and leaving, others coming instead. Grant has assigned her a few more tables and she didn't mind; she was good at giving service to so a large group of people with confusing orders. It _was_ sort of extreme-like, the need to go from one place to another and still providing everyone's needs with no mistake.

For a moment, she thought she heard a familiar voice but couldn't stop and contemplate, there was a lot going on around her.

And then –

Then she saw the flicker of familiar dirty blond hair from the corner of her eye, turning her head she sighed in frustration, feeling how the anger gathered inside her. Ryan and Illyria were sitting at a far table to her right, Ryan was sitting with his back to her whereas Illyria was facing her, but hadn't noticed her.

She didn't want Illyria to notice her.

She's had enough of Ryan's ambiguous behavior toward everything that related to her, and she has just gotten used to being without Ryan. Why did he have to appear in her workplace, in all places? Huffing and gritting her teeth, Kelsey skated over to one of the tables that signaled her. An old woman and a young man were sitting there.

"Hello, how can I help you?" she asked with a smile.

"Could you get us another round of coffee, please?" The young man whom Kelsey presumed was the old woman's grandson was rather pleasant.

"Sure." She smiled and skated inside the coffee shop.

"Two coffees." She told one of the kitchen workers and waited near the counter for them. Emily, another waitress and friend, walked right next to her slowly.

"One coffee." She managed to say, she was panting slightly and Kelsey frowned and put her hand on her back.

"Are you alright, Em?" she asked, concerned.

"I think I need to throw up!" she said while running to the crew bathroom. Kelsey intended to go after her but Grant, the host, put his hand over her shoulder.

"I'll go after her, take care of your tables and if you can take Emily's table number nine, it would be a great help." He said and Kelsey nodded, taking the three coffees in a large tray and confidently skated to her table where she served the old woman and her grandson. Then she skated toward table nine, realizing while she made her way that table nine was Ryan's table. Panic flooded her senses, how would Ryan react to seeing her? How would Illyria…?

"Get a grip." She told herself in a low voice. She shook her head slightly and took a deep breath, then skated the last few meters and came into a halt in front of their table.

"…misled you, I'm not sure, but it's not working the way it should. I'm sorry." Her arrival made them freeze and Kelsey gulped.

"One coffee." She said stoically while serving the mug in front of them, avoiding both of their eyes. "Anything else?" she made it a point to look at some distant point in the horizon.

"Kelsey…" Ryan said her name in a low whisper.

"Nothing." Illyria said sharply and Kelsey skated away immediately.

She tried not to think about what she's heard; was Ryan breaking up with Illyria? She sighed and slid to the old woman's table, handing her grandson the check. Soon after skating away, she looked at Grant who was nodding at her: the shift was over. Kelsey hung up her apron and grabbed her yellow backpack, waving at Grant before she took off.

She skated through the park to her apartment where she intended to make some breakfast before heading to Skater Zone to practice her rollers on the ramp. Planning every hour of the day in her head while she skated, she tried to force herself not to think about what she's witnessed. It wasn't really working, was it? She sighed and tried to concentrate in the music coming from her earphones, but all she could think about was Ryan. Why did he break up from Illyria? Was it because of her? She hoped not, Illyria's expression was harsh, almost vengeful and she really didn't want to mess with that.

"Kelsey!" Someone grabbed her arm and made her turn around.

Ryan.

He was breathing hard and heavy but didn't let go of her arm.

"Kelsey." He repeated and Kelsey lowered her earphones.

"What do you want, Ryan?" She tried to sound cold and distant.

"I – we need to talk. You and I." He stared into her eyes intently, making her hesitate in her own capability to hold back and not give in to him.

"Why would I want to talk to you?" You hurt me.

"Because I need you to listen." He said quickly. "I'm different, Kelsey, I –"

"Well, well, well, we've only just broken up and here you are." Illyria's voice sounded out of nowhere and she suddenly appeared in front of them. Kelsey froze, why was she putting herself into all this trouble with Illyria? She watched as Illyria walked closer and closer to them, surrounding her and Ryan in circles.

"What are you doing here Illyria?" Ryan snarled, his expression turned harsh and cold.

"After discovering your true face, Ryan, you can hardly blame me for staying to see the show." True face? What was Illyria talking about?

"What are you talking about, Illyria? Ryan and I are done." Kelsey said and to prove it pushed him off. "He's all yours for you to play with, I'm so _sick_ of pretending." Illyria laughed; her laughter high-pitched and crueler, a lot different than the last time she had laughed, when her laugh was almost contagious.

"I agree, let's stop the pretending." Illyria said and grinned. After a slight pause she eyed Kelsey, as if measuring an enemy. "Have your nightmares stopped, Kelsey?" She asked and Kelsey frowned.

"None of your business!" Kelsey shot, not willing to admit that the nightmares did stop.

"They did stop, didn't they? There isn't any giant snake chasing you in your dreams and killing you anymore." Illyria smirked and Kelsey gaped, then shot an accusing glare at Ryan.

"You told her?!"

Ryan was _so_ not the man she thought he was.

"I didn't tell her anything." Ryan said, his eyes narrowing at Illyria. "How did you know that?" He demanded.

"It's pretty easssssssssy to know…" Illyria's skin seemed to burst and rip apart, Kelsey's eyes widened in terror.

"Didn't you notice you're having them every time you're close to Ryan?" Kelsey thought about that for a short moment: the nightmares began when Ryan came back with Illyria, every night she had one when Ryan was sleeping near her but when she moved out of the Aquabase and stopped seeing him – there was nothing.

"It was _you_?!" Kelsey yelled.

"Of course, my dear. Did you really think I'd let you ruin my plans to destroy the Titanium Ranger?" A giant cobra snake rose from the ripped flesh.

Kelsey froze.

Illyria was literally the snake that caused her to suffer every night, the reason she dreaded sleep – the reason she had learnt to need Ryan for. Nothing was like the feeling of seeing that giant cobra rising, Kelsey was shocked and frightened, waking up couldn't be her refuge anymore – she's having her nightmare while waking. She opened her mouth but not a sound was heard. Illyria – the cobra – hissed and lunged forward – towards Kelsey.

She readied herself for the sink of the sharp razor-like fangs but it hadn't come; Kelsey opened her eyes to see the Titanium Ranger fighting the huge cobra with his Titanium Axe. Ryan lunged forward slashing a thing wound on the cobra's body. It hissed, retreating somewhat, adjusting to the pain. Kelsey decided to use the opportunity to morph – when she realized she didn't have her morpher, she has given it away the day she left Lightspeed! So at awe at her discovery, that she didn't see the snake manage to slice Ryan's arm, causing him to demorph.

"Kelsey, run!" He shouted, kicking the snake and evading another of its attacks.

"I won't leave you!" she yelled back and skated all over, trying to distract the snake. It wasn't helping: despite the duo's struggle, they were losing gravely; unable to catch Kelsey the snake wrapped itself around Ryan, strangling it slowly.

"Kelsey!" He coughed. "Go!" he gasped. "I'll be fine!"

Kelsey glanced worriedly from the snake to Ryan, knowing very well what's going to happen: it will reach Ryan's shoulders and bite him in venom-filled fangs.

"Goodbye, My Love." Illyria's voice sounded as a hiss while her forked tongue nearly touched his cheek. Kelsey watched, frozen, as Ryan still struggled, trying to break free, and she decided to act; she will not watch Ryan, her love die. No one knew as well as her how to deal with this snake-like Illyria, it was only Kelsey and Kelsey alone, that fought her in her dreams. Taking a deep breath Kelsey stepped forward and skated in circles around Illyria, well, the snake's huge body.

"Illyria! I thought you wanted me! It's me you've been chasing in my dreams!" Kelsey shouted at the snake and came closer, poking the slick skin. Her skin crawled with disgust, but she had to divert Illyria's attention away from Ryan.

"_Lyri_!" Kelsey mocked. "Didn't anyone teach you it's impolite to let other people wait? And I'm waiting for so long!" The snake turned its head, sending its forked tongue at Kelsey.

"Ryan isn't your problem, I am, remember?" Kelsey kept pushing. "You know, when you were away, it was my birthday and I kissed Ryan! Ohmygod, it was so great!"

That made Illyria tick off.

The snake hissed and Kelsey started to skate away, making sure the snake it following her. She skated as far as she could and as fast as she could through the park, putting every ounce of energy in order to flee and take the snake with her. Despite the adrenalin rushing in her veins and proving her everything is real, Kelsey couldn't shake off the feeling that it was just another nightmare, that she's about to lose anyway and that, eventually, she would wake up in Ryan's arms.

And when her body failed her, after a long while of pushing herself despite tiredness and lack of any more energy, she hoped that Ryan would save her somehow. The familiar pain of fangs puncturing her skin was almost welcome now…

* * *

**A/N:** That was bad. And the other two are going to be even worse so… brace yourselves and **R**eview!


	20. Chapter 20

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Twenty:**

She opened her eyes slowly, noting to herself how her entire body was throbbing and hurting. She didn't dare to move, just blink, despite her unexplainable urge to stretch and work her muscles. It seemed her entire body just waited to get into action, but she knew that there will be hell to pay for it. Deciding to stay in the un-pain zone she glanced around as much as she could without moving and maybe that was the reason it took her a while to realize there was something warm in her hand. Curiosity at peak, Kelsey tilted her head just a little to allow herself an angle to look at her hand.

An involuntary slight noise of pain escaped her but she could now see a sleeping Ryan Mitchell sitting near her bed and his head resting on her mattress and his hand holding hers. There were a few wounds on his cheek and forehead, but it seemed they were healing quite nicely. He didn't wake nor heard her earlier yelp and it made her feel a little better, she didn't need him fussing over her; or at least, that was what she kept telling herself. She had to admit that it was amazing to feel that there is someone worrying for you and taking care of you.

Loving you?

She shook her head and then immediately stopped, feeling her thoughts echoing in her mind, until her head stopped throbbing again.

She and Ryan just shared too much history now. Too much of wanting to prove something that wasn't really there, all they had, well, it was artificial on his part and hopelessly painful on her part now. He was out of bounds for her: she refused to let him hurt her anymore.

Kelsey sank back into the bed, breathing evenly and slowly, trying to calm down so falling back to sleep will be easier. She couldn't help the next thought that came up her mind: things are going to be a hell of a lot different when she wakes up again. Yawning, Kelsey drifted back to sleep, not for a moment scared to float back to the gates of dreamworld. She was safe now, Ryan made sure of it.

*

"…such an idiot…to see me again…understand her."

There was a blur of words that Kelsey could hardly make out as she floated back down to reality from dreamworld.

"You're being too dramatic, Ryan, feelings don't evaporate in a month; especially when said feelings developed over an extended period of time."

Who was talking over there? Kelsey tried to listen harder.

"You're spending too much time with Carter now, you sound just like him." The first voice argued a little harshly.

"Because it _makes sense_."

Kelsey fought to open her eyes, it seemed like they were glued together. Forcing herself to open her eyes, she blinked once and immediately closed them, blinded by the light that despite being dim still shocked her systems. Something slightly calloused touched her cheek and Kelsey tried to open her eyes again.

The first thing she saw was a pair of worried brown eyes with a new yellowish glow that were too familiar.

"Kelsey?" Ryan's voice was soft. She gulped, trying to wet her throat and lips in effort to prepare herself to when she would try and talk. Ryan quickly reached behind him and brought a glass of water, offering it silently to her lips.

She didn't know why but she let him help her drink. It wasn't awkward as she thought it would be, she didn't feel uncomfortable around him, not more than the usual semi-jitters in her belly. She was only slightly aware of the fact there was another person in the room, she didn't even bother looking, like her whole universe focused on Ryan Mitchell.

She didn't want it to.

When Ryan put the glass away, empty, Kelsey felt the urge to look away from him. He might have been so sweet to stay in her room to the point of falling asleep but… it was over.

She sighed deeply, her eyes still a little sleepy insisting on almost closing, until –

"Kels!" A voice suspiciously Dana-like squealed; Kelsey immediately fought to keep her eyes open despite the slight blurriness that followed the act.

"Dana?" She asked, suddenly noticing how her voice didn't sound as horrible as she thought it would be.

"Yes, oh, Kelsey! We were so _worried_ about you!" Dana jumped and wrapped her arms around the yellow ranger immediately, making her grin.

"I could say the same, _Pinky_." Kelsey shot and returned the hug as much as she could. "Missed you!" She informed immediately, still a little doubtful of the vision in front of her: was Dana really there?

"I missed you, too, Kels!" Dana smiled her hopeful smile and Kelsey was starting to believe that this was no drug-induced hallucination.

"I don't believe it." Kelsey muttered, slightly frowning.

"Imagine that, the day I wake up Chad told me you were gone! What was I supposed to think?"

"Suits you to wake up when I'm gone, Dana!" Kelsey smiled at her best friend and the two burst out laughing.

"I think I'll go and tell the others." Ryan sighed.

Kelsey almost forgot he was there, but just almost because how could someone forget such an intimacy completely? Despite that, Kelsey found herself unable to look up into his eyes again.

_Or ever._

She found herself sighing in relief when Ryan quickly walked out of the room, his long legs swift and powerful. Kelsey couldn't help staring after him sadly, remembering her decision but can't help those feelings that welled up inside of her.

_So pathetic._

"You love him." Dana stated once Ryan was completely gone.

"I'll stop." Kelsey whispered. "How long was I here?" she changed the subject.

"A week," Dana's voice became worried again, "Ryan didn't leave here for a second. Actually, this is the first time Ryan leaves your bedside." Dana noted quietly, bringing the subject right back up. Ryan.

"We're over, why doesn't anyone understand that? First – Illyria and now – you." Kelsey complained.

Dana shrugged.

"You love him."

"But he doesn't love me!" Kelsey couldn't help it. "All these months… he toyed with my feelings like I'm an experimental rabbit! I had to watch him with Illyria, calling me his best friend and then he told me he can't believe me when I was telling the truth –"

"He didn't know!" Dana burst.

"What are you talking about, Dana?" Kelsey frowned, confused.

"Ryan." Dana said softly. "He didn't know he loved you." She whispered.

"What are you saying? How can he _not_ know?" Kelsey was puzzled, and not understanding gave her a headache.

"Did you forget who raised him?"

She understood.

There was silence for a couple of minutes, until Kelsey finally spoke, softly;

"It doesn't mean he hurt me less." Dana nodded.

"I know, Honey." Dana hugged her for a few moments, allowing her to cry on her shoulder. Kelsey couldn't find words to describe how much she missed this kind of comfort, of understanding. She missed Dana so much and suddenly here she was, in the best friend role again, like she never gotten hurt like she did. It made Kelsey smile through her tears.

"Look at you." Kelsey sniffed. "You only woke up ten seconds ago and already knowing everything that happened and ways to fix it. I really missed you, Pinky."

"I know, Kels, I'm sorry I couldn't be here for you. I bet you needed a friend." Dana told her quietly, her voice slightly shaking as well, Dana was always one to be sensitive to the point of crying. Kelsey nodded silently, pulling back and wiped her eyes with her sleeves.

"I bet I don't know anything, right? Let's catch up, I bet Ryan didn't tell me everything."

Kelsey smiled and opened her mouth to tell her best friend _everything_.

*

When the guys entered two hours later, they found the two girls still catching up; Kelsey was sitting rather than being sprawled on the mattress which was improvement as far as she was concerned whereas Dana sat on a chair near her and both of them were giggling like the girls they were.

" – something no one knows." Kelsey said and Dana started giggling again.

"What was it?" The last urged.

"Not telling." Kelsey smirked and the two burst out laughing.

Carter cleared his throat, making the girls look at them while trying to contain their laughs.

"Hi, guys." Kelsey smiled at them innocently, watching how Carter was examining the medical report that hung on her bed severely. Before Kelsey could turn her head anywhere else, Chad burst forward, unable to contain his worry.

"Kels!" Chad rushed to her side. He took her wrist and attached her morpher, bringing her back to the team officially. "Welcome back!"

"Thanks, Chad." Kelsey smiled.

Joel clapped his agreement to Chad's words then allowed himself a seat on Kelsey's bed, near her legs; his tall body easily closing the distance between her shoulders and her legs.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"I'm alright, Joel, kind of hungry though."

"Let's get our yellow ranger some food." Chad said quickly, jumping away from the bed towards the door, but somehow he managed to freeze in his way to the door, turning around all red in the face and pulling Joel with him. Dana's glare at him might have had something to do with that.

"Alright, see you later." Joel kissed Kelsey's cheek and the green and blue rangers left the infirmary quicker than they came in. It clearly said something, what was Dana planning?

"Hmm… Carter?" Dana said sweetly to Carter who immediately looked at her. "I think we need to help Joel and Chad…?" She hinted, Kelsey watched Carter, amused.

"Oh, er, really?" Carter frowned.

"Car–_ter_…" Dana said through gritted teeth, Kelsey bit her bottom lip from laughing. This might leave her alone with Ryan, she knew, but she could at least make the most of it and watching Dana training/torturing Carter was one of her favourite shows ever.

"Oh. _Oh_." Carter cleared his throat.

"Let's go help the guys, they're probably wrecking the kitchen by now." Dana looked pleased and hopped to her feet, making her way to Carter, taking his hand in hers and the two left the room.

Kelsey felt her stomach turning with anticipation and fear; what was to happen now? Ryan who was leaning against a wall the entire time pulled himself up and made his way near her bed.

"Hey." He said, embarrassed.

"Hi." She half-whispered.

"How do you feel?" He asked, concern shining in his eyes, making the brown liquid swirl.

"I'm fine. Illyria…?" His expression hardened.

"Gone." He diverted his gaze, not looking at her anymore. "You shouldn't have risked yourself for me." He said in a thick voice.

"I knew what was going to happen and I couldn't let it happen to you." Kelsey said simply.

It was the truth.

"I'm not worth it!" He snapped, turning to look at her. "After all I've done to you… you shouldn't even want me here." His eyes were moving with unshed tears.

"I didn't, but Dana told me…" Kelsey said quickly, then paused, hesitating. "You didn't know." She added and Ryan nodded, his eyes shining with tears. Their gazes locked on each other and Kelsey noted that she would never look at chocolate the same after watching his chocolate-like eyes unleashing the full force of his agony and regret upon her.

"I love you." He cried, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I didn't know what I was feeling, I thought this is how I'm supposed to feel to someone that means so much to me." He stopped talking until he calmed down, not wiping the tear marks from his cheeks.

"You're my first friend. Ever." He whispered to her, touching her tears and Kelsey found out she was crying. "But I don't love you because you're my friend." He shook his head. "I love you because you make me laugh, I never used to laugh. And I love you because you're not easily scared except for those silly girl-books you read." Kelsey found herself laughing through her tears again. "And because we can talk about everything and I never feel bored or out of context. I never feel I missed anything when I'm with you. It's like I've never left this realm."

Ryan glanced into her eyes, taking her hand in his for a moment, his skin rubbing hers and making shivers run through her. She closed her eyes lazily, then, when his hand left hers, she abruptly opened her eyes; she saw him standing a little further, frozen in his place. She watched him curiously, questions burning in her eyes, but he refused to look back with answers and avoided her eyes.

He looked tortured.

"Ryan…" She sighed, reaching her hand to him, he didn't take it.

"I tried to be good, a good man. I wanted people to see how I've changed. But it doesn't matter because I hurt you, and this change, it's been for nothing."

"It's not true." She couldn't bear seeing him suffering like that, it seemed so raw and so _painful_. She didn't want him to hurt, they both have been hurt enough, by each other and by Illyria.

"It's true. You're the last person I wanted to hurt and I've hurt you first, I can't… I don't understand why it's happening to me!" He turned around, hitting the wall with his clenched fists.

"I'm so angry!" He spoke, his head leaning against the wall. "It's my doing. It's _me_!"

"Ryan." She whispered his name quietly, hoping to turn him around and feeling the need to relieve him, to free him from all this guilt and agony. Like his presence so often did to her, comforting her with just being there, with simply holding her close.

"Come here." She whispered and he obeyed, coming closer to her and standing near her bed. She took a hold of his black tee shirt and pulled him lower, until he bent forward to her, she wrapped her arms around him, holding him in silence. He didn't fight her.

They stayed close for long moments.

"How can you love me when all I did was hurt you?" He asked in a broken voice, the question hanging in the air for long moments.

It wasn't like they were exact opposites and the attraction was immediate, it was slower, built layer after layer of closeness. They shared common interests like reading and extreme sport, and the way that she didn't have to say anything but he was still so attuned to her that he knew exactly what to ask her when she was upset or how he caught up things that she hasn't said in the conversation. Their bond was different than with the others, it was personal, intimate and they never shared more than one kiss. If it weren't for the passion that roared every time they were touching, Kelsey would have thought them very much platonic. The fact was that there was just something about him that made everything _different_ and it was hard to pinpoint it from his entire aura.

What would she say?

"You're not like anyone I've ever met. You're different." She whispered.

"I hurt you." He said softly and Kelsey nodded, caressing his hair.

"You did, but I can forgive you. At first I didn't want to," she pulled her shoulders while he sent her a frightened glance, "but not forgiving you would mean to ignore you or make you leave and I don't want that. I've had that, remember?" She gave him a small smile, but he was still anxious and pulled back from between her arms.

"Ryan, I just don't want to lose you again." She sighed, looking at her hands.

"Why? I'm not a good guy, Kelsey." He said quietly, pain flashing in his eyes and he turned his back to her. "Good guys don't hurt people the way I hurt you." He added then.

"Stop it, people make mistakes. _I_ made mistakes, I hurt you too, but it's okay because you forgave me. I forgive you." She begged, not realizing the way her voice shook and her eyes glazed; she watched him drawing distance, leaning his arms and head on the wall.

"I should leave." Ryan said so quietly that Kelsey wasn't sure he said the words at first, but then, when they sank she couldn't help the tears that flowed.

"I don't want you to go!" She cried, wiping the traitorous tears away, Ryan immediately straightened and walked to her, holding her close.

"I lost every meaning that being a ranger has given me." He explained, leaning his cheek on her head gently. "I'm _not_ good."

"You're not evil, either." She pointed out, sniffling.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know you, Ryan." She spoke softly and rested her hand on his arm, enjoying the touch of him. "Feelings can be confusing and really hard to deal with, trust me, I know." She paused. "Running away from the problem wouldn't change the way you feel or solve it."

"I don't know anything anymore, Kelsey. I know what I feel for you but it makes me feel bad that I just learned about it now. I don't want to hurt you again, but everything is so… so different for me here."

"I know everything is a first for you. I understand." She gulped, then sighed and decided to go on with the truth. "I'll miss you too much if you leave." She whispered, then felt him shifting and then his chocolate eyes met hers.

"I love you." She whispered as he pulled closer to her, she stared into his eyes, unable to look away and not wanting to do that anyway. He pressed his lips to hers carefully, kissing her almost chastely. The kiss was slow and the passion built into it carefully, like a first kiss. Kelsey's mind was blank, all she could feel was Ryan's warmth and his scent that was suddenly everywhere, intoxicating her. It was different, this feeling of kissing Ryan, she was finally feeling some genuine happiness in the pit of her stomach; it didn't happen for such a long time.

When air was in lack and Ryan pulled away gently but reluctantly, he gave her a small smile and leaned his forehead against hers, staring into her eyes.

"I love you, too, Kelsey."

And nothing in the world felt this good.

* * *

**A/N:** I know, I _know_. But there was Independence Day and I had a paper to hand in and then I was in my dorms where there's no internet. And life's a bitch… So, can you believe I had this piece lying around for ages and only the night before posting this I'm suddenly modifying it? A burst of inspiration, apparently.

Next chapter should be the last, unless my inspiration kicks in and I would write that little Epilogue piece that's swirling around in my mind. Though I can't see a reason for Epilogue when there was no Prologue. *shrug* **R**eview, will you? Tell me you hate me.


	21. Chapter 21

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter Twenty-One / Epilogue?**

She rarely thought about what would have happened if she hadn't known him; she was young and carefree when she met him, the only trouble she knew was when a demon attacked Mariner Bay and her friends had to take it out. She was so innocent then, still looking for a knight on a shining skateboard or a prince on a white BMX and they would ride to the sunset together. She would never have admitted that then, not telling anyone what she secretly hoped for, a man that would sweep her off her feet rather than just her rollerblades.

Instead, she got him;

He might have looked like a prince with his dirty blond hair, liquid chocolate eyes and this heart-warming smile, but he was far from it. Being evil for twenty out of his twenty one years of life must have had something to do with the lack of certain fairytale qualities.

Only soon after she met him, she had come to realize that she didn't want prince charming. Having her Titanium Ranger in his grey spandex was more than enough. He might have been too broody, stubborn and somewhat doubtful to be a prince or even a knight, but he was also very tender, understanding, easy-to-talk-to and very loving than any prince or knight in existence. He made her happy and she made him laugh and sometimes they were too into each other that they could ignore the world, pretending to be the only two people in the universe whether they were walking in the park or mountain-climbing near Stone Canyon.

"Ready to go?" Ryan entered their room, interrupting her thoughts. A smile immediately sprung on Kelsey's face and she rose on her feet from their bed. Ryan offered her his hand and she took it as they left the Aquabase for a walk on the beach.

Things were a little awkward at first since they've started well, dating; she had to admit it was strange for her to get used to this new 'No-Illyria' condition. Then, she knew Ryan had to adjust, too, he was pretty new to this whole boyfriend thing after being Illyria's puppy for long months. Somehow, they've managed through the awkwardness stage rather well, she had to admit.

Now, after a few months of being officially 'together', everything just flowed around. Spending time together wasn't awkward and just comfortable, it was fun and interesting, and Kelsey looked forward to times where she and Ryan could spend some time alone, laughing, talking or just being quiet together. It didn't matter as long as she got to be there with him.

There were things she helped him to understand, emotions; but what she most loved about him that even when he was still discovering himself, he helped her to understand herself. He taught her and she taught him and there were things they were bound to learn together, making love and adjusting to living together. She loved it all.

"You're quiet." He noted when they've finally exited the Aquabase and started to walk on the sandy shore. The sun was just beginning to set and the skies were a mixture of fading red, pink, light blue and hot orange.

"Just thinking." She said quietly, looking at the horizon; the patch of shore and sand they were strolling upon was considered Aquabase property, in a way. There were no civilians allowed near and they had the entire shore to themselves, she noticed and smiled.

"We have the beach to ourselves." She said with a smile.

"Hm.." He agreed. Kelsey laughed.

"Race ya!" She called and let go on his hand, bolting forward as fast as she could. A few moments later she looked back, seeing Ryan walking still, not running so she stopped.

"Ryan!" She called, a bit outraged, but Ryan laughed and started to run.

Kelsey squealed and started running again, but the gap between the two was a lot smaller and in seconds Ryan ran past her and stopped a few steps ahead in front of her.

"You're not a match for me, Kelsey." He smirked smugly.

"We'll see who wins race when we're on rollerblades." She muttered lowly knowing he would catch that, her lips forming into a slight pout.

He did and laughed.

"Shoes off?" He asked and Kelsey smiled.

"Yes." She agreed and the pair took off their shoes and socks, leaving them on the stranded shore, while allowing themselves to walk in the water, right where the water grazed the sand. Ryan took Kelsey's hand.

"So… tell me how your day has been?" Ryan asked sweetly.

"I woke up in the morning and you were there, I went to breakfast and you were there, I went to training and you were there… Do you sense a pattern?" She raised an eyebrow at him.

He chuckled lightly.

"My day has been pretty amazing." She smiled and turned to him slightly, stopping, which naturally made Ryan stop, too. He frowned slightly at her.

"Hug?" She asked and Ryan's frown melted into a grin and he let go of her hand, wrapping his arms around her as she asked. Kelsey held him close, sending her arms to make sure he's close, and her head lying on his chest comfortably.

"How was your day, Ryan Mitchell?" She teased lightly, his chest rumbled a little.

"I love seeing you every day." He murmured, his nose buried in her hair, he made her blush slightly. She knew she should have gotten used to it a while ago, but it refused to sink in, knowing he was hers. She then felt him shifting a little and his lips came in contact with her temple. She closed her eyes, giving herself to feeling his lips planting little kisses all over her face; her eyes, her nose, her cheeks and her forehead, but not touching her lips. She smiled.

"When this war is over, would you come with me?" His voice asked in a whisper and Kelsey opened her eyes, staring up into his.

"Where?"

"Everywhere. I want to experience this world and I want you to come with me." He explained and Kelsey smiled and nodded.

"I'd love to." He grinned and leaned his forehead on hers, their eyes locked for a long time. His eyes always told her so much and right now, he was a little hesitant, he wanted to tell her something. She hoped her eyes conveyed her openness and willingness to hear whatever he had to say. She knew she should wait for him: he never kept anything inside if he could tell her.

"Kelsey?" He spoke her name, pulling his head back a little. She tilted her head, watching him silently, waiting. "I want to be with you forever."

She wanted that, too, but couldn't help but wonder if he knew what he said actually meant.

"Forever is a long time, are you sure you're up for it?" She stared into his eyes, seeing nothing but love, confidence and hope.

"Forever is not enough if I can spend it with you." He was serious. Kelsey hesitated for a few moments; she loved Ryan but this was a big step and Ryan was still learning his emotions.

Kelsey looked away from his eyes, contemplating what to say, how to react. This was a delicate situation and she didn't want to hurt or disappoint Ryan. Maybe she was bound to either way, she wasn't sure.

"Hey." Ryan gently lifted her chin, making her look at him; he had the softest expression on his face, Kelsey buried her face in his chest, hiding. "Tell me why." He asked.

"You're still struggling to understand yourself, what if you find out this is not what you really want? You know it can happen." Kelsey's voice was muffles by his shirt.

"Would I risk hurting you by asking you to accept a promise I don't intend to keep?" His voice was delicate, soft.

"No." She whispered.

"Would I ask anything from you when I don't know exactly what I feel?"

"No." She breathed.

"Would I repeat my mistakes like a fool and misunderstand any emotion I have for you?"

She shook her head.

"Tell me why you're afraid of this." His arms slid around her again, pulling her closer. She breathed in his calming scent mixed with the ocean's air, he was right, she _was_ afraid. He meant so much to her, she couldn't afford to lose him.

"I don't know." She said and took a deep breath. "I just don't want to lose you, it's a too big of a commitment to make right now. I'm being difficult, I'm sorry." She bit her bottom lip.

"It's okay, My Kelsey, I understand." He whispered and kissed her forehead, he glanced down at her, his eyes sparkling reassuringly. He smiled at her and kissed her lips gently; she responded slowly, savoring any second of his warm, soft lips on hers. She felt lost in wonderland when he kissed her like that, like this was the last kiss, it was desperate and passionate. Sometimes she really hated the fact humans needed to breathe.

"I still want you to have this." Panting slightly, Kelsey watched Ryan pulling a silver colored ring from his pocket. He held it closer to her, showing her a yellow gemstone that decorated the simple band.

"Oh, Ryan, you shouldn't have." Kelsey blushed furiously as Ryan gently took her hand and slid the ring to her appropriate finger in her left hand.

"I'll wait, Kelsey, but I want you to have this ring. It's my promise to you that my forever is going to be with you." He spoke softly, he intertwined their fingers and kissed the back of her hand. "The gemstone is Sapphire and the metal, Titanium." He added.

Kelsey was speechless. She stared at her ringed hand and at Ryan a few times, shocked and surprised. Her mouth was slightly open and her eyes wide, but this meant… She refused to acknowledge the meaning of such a step, she couldn't believe this was happening to her, her! Kelsey Winslow, the tomboy!

"Kelsey?" Ryan frowned considerably, Kelsey blinked twice and jumped on him, burying her face in the crook of his neck and shoulder. Taking another huge sniff of his scent and letting his calmed heartbeats to calm her racing heartbeats down.

"Thank you, Ryan." Her lips whispered on his skin.

"You're welcome, My Kelsey." She could hear the smile in his voice and shyly looked up at him. He looked positively amused, but she didn't care because he wrapped his arms around her again and squeezed her closer to him.

"I love you. Thank you." She murmured to him, not really knowing what to say anymore. Words couldn't describe the way she was feeling, that storm that was thundering in her body.

"I love you, too, Kelsey." He kissed her head and she sighed happily and pulled back a little, suddenly noticing the blue-purple shade of the skies.

"It's almost dark." She said quietly. "We've missed the sunset." She pouted slightly, taking Ryan's hand and started walking again.

Ryan chuckled.

"There is always tomorrow." He commented with a smile.

* * *

**A/N:** This didn't give you a sense of closure, did it? So I'm thinking of posting the final piece that takes place four years after this one. It's really rough and very unlike the Ryan and Kelsey you've read so far: they're older and have been together for a long time… well, you'll see all about it tomorrow. Or today, if I feel like it. Anyway, **R**eview!


	22. Chapter 22

**Bite Your Tongue  
**by DarkHonda aka Tal

**Chapter 22 / Last Chapter / Epilogue?:**

**Reefside, four years later.**

"I don't think I can do this." Kelsey yelled down to Ryan.

"Come on, Love, we're more than halfway there." Ryan said from about a meter bellow her, for some reason, he didn't need to yell.

"I can't feel my muscles anymore!" She yelled down as she kept pushing herself up, her frustration levels were threatening to make her give up and she knew it.

"Keep climbing and I'll give you the best massage when we're done!"

"Promise?" Maybe frustration had a few positive angles.

"I swear it." She could hear him chuckling and muttered something foul under her breath. "You can do this, Kelsey, keep climbing up, we're done in half an hour tops and you'll feel like a whole new person."

"Is that from experience?" She asked, frowning, sweat rolling down her forehead, coating her eyes and cheeks while she pulled herself up higher and higher with the help of helpful jags.

"No, but so I've heard." He said and that made her start laughing; she was hung in mid-air, trying to climb the highest non-active volcano in Reefside and he was telling her she _might_ feel better later? Oh, yeah, that was just _so_ promising.

"Come on, Kelsey, Doctor Oliver is about to call the helicopter to get us back from up there any moment now."

"Ryan, I am _so_ picking our next climbing destination and I'm thinking of Hawaii's beaches with a mai-tai in hand and sunglasses in the other." She said while she kept pulling herself up, pushing herself to be mechanic, not to think of her exhaustion or strained muscles.

He laughed.

"I think I like this new destination. Will you wear that two-piece swimming suit Dana got you in the last time we went to see her, Carter and Roark?" He teased and Kelsey had to keep herself from laughing out loud, she snickered silently at his tease.

"Sometimes I'm not sure you're not completely evil, Ryan Mitchell. How did you know about that?" Of course, now that Carter was actually married to Dana, it gave him a lot of confidence which affected his usual untalkative demeanor. Meaning: Carter couldn't keep his mouth shut.

That is, it's not that she wasn't flattered that Ryan wanted her to wear the very skimpy bikini she got from Dana and Angela despite Carter probably forgot to mention her in his contributions to Ryan. And she wasn't completely sure Joel didn't know about that, either, and _that_ could be very embarrassing. Unless Chad knows; Chad would have a heart attack, she never used to wear a bikini, only an athlete's one piece…

"Answer me?" She poked Ryan verbally when he was silent for longer than she thought.

"If I told you, I would have to kill you."

She rolled her eyes.

"In order to kill me you'd have to catch me, but you're so far behind you'll never catch me." She teased with a smirk, trying a little harder to create a gap between Ryan and herself.

"Wait until I _do_ catch you, yellow ranger." Ryan muttered and Kelsey laughed, finally seeing hope in the form of the top of the mounting about a meter above her. Thanking god, Kelsey eagerly climbed up faster, eventually pulling herself on solid land. She grinned and got up, standing and waiting for Ryan to surface as well. He wasn't really that far behind and it took him about four minutes to stand next to her while they unclasped the straps that kept them safe.

"We did this!" Kelsey said excitedly, jumping in place and throwing her arms in the air.

"I can't believe you doubted that, Kelsey Winslow." Ryan grinned and shook his head.

"Oh, come on, it was hard for you, too." Kelsey pushed him back slightly and he smirked.

"It's always hard for me." He smirked and pulled her to him gently. "Come're."

She pushed away from him, but his hold on her arm was quie strong, yet not strong enough to hurt.

"Ryan, we stink, I refuse to let you touch me." She fought him off a little and he chuckled and released her, taking her hand.

"Doctor Oliver mentioned there was a lake around here somewhere, let's find it and clean up." Ryan frowned and pulled out a small map from his pocket, reading it intently.

"I thought you said Doctor Oliver already sent a helicopter?" Kelsey raised an eyebrow.

"In thirty minutes, _come on!_" He pulled her by the hand to one direction or the other, it didn't really matter as long as it was with him.

Kelsey rolled her eyes.

"Did anyone ever tell you it's wrong to lie?" She complained as he led her through a small grove, moving a few large bushes to expose a beautiful lake that was deserted.

How comfortable.

"Actually," he explained while putting their equipment and backpack aside and then pulling down his shirt off. "Considering I grew up in Diabolico's lair, it was okay to lie."

Kelsey shook her head as she disposed herself of her own dirty, wet clothes and jumped to the lake, closely followed by Ryan.

"Liar." She said and he laughed and pulled her close between his arms tightening her to his chest.

"Maybe." He chuckled lowly to her ear, she could feel his chest rumbling pleasantly at her back. He kissed her temple.

"_You_ were amazing today, little one, and the way you kept pushing yourself like that…" he pressed his lips to her left shoulder, making her shiver. "I worship you." His words grazed her skin, she tilted her head a little, watching him smiling and drawing closer to a long kiss.

"I love you." She murmured to his lips, turning to him completely before claiming his lips more fully. His arms snaked around her and pulled her closer again, until her breasts flattened against his chest.

"I love you, too." He pressed his lips just below her jaw, it was a rather sensitive spot and he knew it, abusing the way he knew her so well. She closed her eyes in pleasure, his lips felt so warm and a shiver ran through her, making her near-purr. He chuckled at her response and kissed her lips again.

"Kelsey." The way he spoke her name… so softly… she wanted to melt. She opened her eyes to see his liquid eyes swirling with secrets and smiled, Ryan always held a mystery inside, always a challenge for her. She felt him pressing her a little harder against him and she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, laying her head on his chest like a kitten snuggling close to her owner.

She loved him so much and just being able to be with him, enjoy his company and let alone touch him gave her so much strength and stability. People say that you only value the things you lost and Kelsey understood it to its full extent; she lost him once and ever since then every moment she got to spend with him was special, a privilege. She knew that if she told him that, he would probably snort and berate himself because he lost her once, too. Yet Kelsey knew that that is the reason for their strong connection, their stronghold, they valued each other too much to let go.

He kissed her forehead with a smile and she knew he was allowing her to drift back down from her thoughts. She noticed how he leaned his head on top of hers, keeping them as close as possible.

She had to smile at that.

"My Kelsey…" He called her softly, demanding her attention and she tightened her arms around him to show him she's listening.

"Marry me?"

Kelsey felt her stomach twirling, her happiness heightening and the need to squeal growing, but she didn't want to ruin this moment of peace. She smiled hugely and closed her eyes for a moment, her fingers darting to the ring he gave her four years ago, hanging from a necklace that she kept secured around her neck, never taking it off.

"Yes."

"Forever?" He asked and all she could answer was his words from four years before.

"I want to be with you forever." Her lips tasted his skin, his chest rumbled when he chuckled again.

"Forever is a long time." He reminded her, they were her own words.

"I think we can manage..." She eyed him meaningfully, eventually making both of them to burst out laughing before she kissed him.

* * *

**A/N:** And this is done:) Give me a few weeks to work on that werewolf thing I promised in Of Kidnappings and Love. Might post a little two shot or one shot in a week… Was fun posting for you! **Review one last time?** ;)


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